Wrong
by Secretly Immortal
Summary: I shouldn't want this girl so much, and it was SO wrong that I did. I mean, sure, she was perfect in every regard and I hadn't realized I was looking for my IT - the one person in the world for me and me only - until she was sitting on my couch chatting me up about life. Despite that perfection, it was still so wrong. And all because my idiot brother just HAD to be dating her...
1. Prologue: Wrong

_This is wrong. All wrong._

I was comfortable in my assumption that my brother was officially the most anal mother fucker to have ever walked the planet earth. He was my junior by three-and-a-half years, I'd known him the majority of my own life, and all of his; it only makes sense that I could, and damn well should, make assumptions pertaining to aspects of his personality. But this "anal-ness", so to speak, was most easily and obviously displayed through his courting methods. Methodology of courtship, if you will, either way, yeah.

_So. Fucking. Wrong._

The boy has - _HAD _- a rather rigid courtship structure, one he's never deviated from - not once! ever! - for anyone. It wasn't anything he'd sat down and hammered out the details to (because, seriously, even he isn't that bad) one day when he had the time and patience. No, this was something I'd come to know and realize from my own observations over the years. You see, it came in stages, phases, even; and when one stage didn't come after another, boom-shaka-mother-fucking-laka, relationship ended. Just over. Nothing left... well maybe an awkward friendship, but you get the point.

The boy adored his structure, as far as I could tell, and there was no changing that. Said structure went as follows: stage one, the "Just" phase. You know the one, when it's _just _a girl, _just _a co-worker, it was _just_ lunch/dinner. No big deal, whatevs. Then came stage two, the horrid "inside joke" phase. He'd always get some goofy-ass grin or-or laugh at/about some stupid shit that is not even REMOTELY funny, and explain it away with a shrug or some other such noncommittal response "Oh, something (insert bitch's name here) said... you had to be there..." And he will do it ALL the fucking time. It's insanity!

But the worst stage - and final phase before he is_ officially_ dating the poor soul that got sucked in by his genetically beautimous good looks - is the "she said" phase. _Ugh, _this stage brings back the good ol' "gag me with a spoon" phrase, because seriously, fucking kill me with a blunt object. "Oh, she said...!" "And, and then she told me...!" "Oh my gosh, guess what she told me today...!?" "Yeah, but _then _she said...!" She, she, she, blah, blah, blah, SHUT UP! It's disgusting how hard he falls all over himself to shove her worldly views and various mundane thoughts down the throat of anyone who will listen, or won't listen, for that matter; he doesn't care, really, he'll just go on and on and fucking on about NOTHING. But suddenly it's important because she said it.

_So unnaturally, wrongly wrong. _

Then it was a real relationship after she'd managed to survive the beginning. Meet the family sorta real shit. And I knew all of this about him. I knew how he operated, how he functioned, how he_ stuck _to his structure and plans. Very rare was it that he would actually surprise me. It wasn't him, it wasn't his thing, it wasn't what he did. He's anal Eddie, too exacting and nitpicking to _not _go through the motions. So this shit, this shit right here, right now, was just... _WRONG! _

Totally and utterly. I mean, for fucks sake, he'd never even MENTIONED the girl, not even in passing! I swear I'm not overreacting about this, either. Because it was wrong how he'd gone about this courtship without telling me. I mean, as far as I could tell, he'd skipped the stages! That... I can't accurately describe how unnatural that is, like a crime of nature.

It was wrong that he hadn't warned me she'd be showing up on our doorstep. I mean, talk about some common courtesy. Oh sorry, I meant _lack of_. My bad. No wait, that would be _his._

And it was most definitely, most assuredly wrong for her to be so attractive. He liked 'em tall, with generous assets and, usually, slightly dumb. Bimbos, really. Which this was NOT. Girls like this, all petite and cute and absolutely _edible _weren't his type. Or at least, in this moment, they shouldn't be.

_And it was TOTALLY wrong for me to want her as much as I do._

Wrong? Who am I kidding!? This officially makes me twelve types of fucked up.

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**Okay, prologue to "Wrong" I've had this idea festering in my head, bravely fighting off those cursed plot bunnies, for about the past week. But alas, those plot bunnies were too strong. The bastards ganged up on me... they beat me with a toaster until I agreed to write. And then they kicked my grandmother! It was terrible... so don't be angry that I started another story**

** I don't own Twilight/it's characters. I just like doing dirty things with them. ;3 And I'll try to leave this be until other shit is updated... And please forgive mistakes, thanks so much!**


	2. Want

**Hmmm... So i said I'd be updating other shit... And then I had an epiphany that went as follows "Holy shit... I have absolutely no idea how I want to move forward with my other shit!... well fuck." T_T SO, here I am, here you are, and here goes another chapter written entirely from my kindle... which tries to auto correct me ALL the fucking time, so please do be kind, rewind, and forgive all those troublesome mistakes.**

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I swear to you, promise on my honor as one impressive-ass BAMF, I can hear people at my door from anywhere. I could be in the asshole of bum-fuck nowhere, and I would still hear the telltale knockety-knock of someone unwisely interrupting my life with... whatever the fuck they feel is important enough to interrupt my life; I could be on the _moon_, listening to the loudest, nastiest melt-your-face-off death metal, and I would STILL hear that horrid noise. It could be the lightest little tap, in the middle of a hurricane, on fire - I would imagine something like that to be rather loud, yeah? - and still, still, fucking _still_ I would hear that shit. It's almost a super power. But mostly, a curse.

Because the best part about it... Inevitably, my sensitivity to the gentlest rap upon that sacred entrance to my one true haven heightens to heroic proportions when, and only when, I am fucking tired. As hell. I'm to the point where I suspect that they - they being any generic ass-fuck stupid enough to poke the sleeping bear (that's me!) - plan it. Any time I think to myself, '_wow I'm seriously tired, maybe I should nap' _and then decide I'm too busy for things like sleep, no one bothers me. Not a single soul; I might as well be the only person on the planet for how little I get bothered on those occasions. But those times that I find it really is quite impossible for me to impede the progress of my heavy lids towards the ultimate goal of closing indefinitely, those times that I suddenly find my faded brown couch is my best - perhaps only - friend in this big bad world, those are the times when I become more trendy than the trendiest of hipsters and everyone and their fucking long-lost cousin feels the need to incur the wrath of sleep deprived me.

I am of the opinion that there are some basic rules to living a happy, relatively healthy life; just some little things that should be adhered to so as to not live a short, sad life, right? Like, don't poke the sleeping bear; don't make the Hulk angry; don't eat the yellow snow, etcetera, etcetera. One that I've only come to discover over the past few years is, perhaps, the most important, vital rule of all: don't interrupt my nap time. As I've already explained, I don't often get to indulge in napping. It's a luxury I cannot usually afford, though I do try. And when try leads shortly to fail, well... you better get out of the way, I go into attack mode and target anything that moves. I once scared one poor lad so badly he fell down the stairs... And kept running.

Now, I believe you might be better equipped to understand my, shall I say, _minor _frustrations when it comes to the world and the people that inhabit it. So, for the past THREE days, when I have been bothered on eight different occasions - EIGHT! - right as I'm on the cusp of sleep, you might now understand how I did find myself in quite the pickle. On one hand, they deserved to die and I reserved the right to kill them and it _would _be so satisfying to carry out those plans. And on the other, jail. Murder _is _typically looked upon in a bad way, you see, so, thus, here I am now. Waiting.

Just fucking waiting. Because my eyes are awful heavy. And my door is awful silent. And my brother had been an awful ass for constantly waking me these past few days. So I have no choice but to wait. And wait.

And wait...

And...

_Knock..._

"Mother fu-!" I jolted awake and-

_Knock... _

Wait one fucking second. I fell asleep? I mean, I actually, finally fell asleep?! But when did...?

_Knock. _

And... they woke me up. I _actually _fell a-fucking-sleep, and they WOKE me up. Oh, OH, oooooh hell mother fuc-

_Knock. _

AND THEY'RE STILL KNOCKING!? Oh, it is on like the donkiest of kongs. I growled, I mean that guttural, screeching noise only we women folk can produce in times of pure, unadulterated fury, and stood from the couch so quickly I was nearly taken back down by the sudden attack of vertigo. But anger was my friend, lending me great balance in this moment so that I might storm my way from the living room, down the hall, to the door, wrenching it open with a positively venomous glare.

"WHAT DO YOU-..." Green. Or blue. Ocean. I was looking into the depths of the ocean. I was looking into the eyes of a goddess, and She spared me no pity, burning me with her gaze even as she so graciously allowed me this second to worship her with my eyes. My unworthy eyes. Dark hair, creamy pale skin, those _eyes _that make me hurt so good. "Want."

Before, when I'd first thrown the door open, that was going to be a demand. Now? Now it was more a declaration of utter truth. I wanted this goddess in the flesh, wanted her like I'd never wanted anything ever before. I almost drowned once, when I was just a young girl; I hadn't wanted air then, as much as I wanted her now. Even as confused, and slightly frightened, as she looked - still trying to recover from my misguided outburst, I'd bet - she was stunning and breathtaking and...

"_Please,_" I nearly groaned as I leaned wearily against the door frame. "Please say you're here for me?" Please open those pretty pink lips and let me hear that, no doubt, mesmerizing voice so that I might have my chance to die of pure bliss, having no regrets that you were the last vision of beauty to honor these undeserving eyes. My eyes fluttered, a sigh escaped me as She came to herself, giggling at my desperation. Oh, how She wounded me, but how magnificent she was with a smile tugging at those kissable lips, pulling them back to expose wonderfully brilliant white teeth.

"Sorry to say," You can apologize to me all day long, baby. Actually, let's skip the apology, my bed's just down the hall and makeup sex is totally called for. I'm sorry it took me this long to find you as well, sweet- "Unless Edward has magically transformed into a beautiful lady-" We now interrupt your scheduled programming for this public service announcement: SHE THINKS I'M PRETTY! "No, I'm not here for you."

This has gotta be the best day-... I... Wait, what?

"Sooo, would he happen to be in?" He?

"He?" I cannot be bothered by how dimwitted I must surely seem in this moment. She only giggled - angels singing, such sweet joy to hear her merriment! - again and smiled that goddess smile at me.

"Edward," she provided. But then I realized what she said. It was like being doused with ice water after climbing out from the smoking embers of a burning building.

"Edward... Edward?" She got that confused look on her face again, biting her lip - shhh, vagina, calm down before you drown yourself - and shifting nervously from foot to foot.

"This... this _is _where he...?"

"Wait, NO, no! I mean yes, this is his, well, more like mine, but-" Okay, deep breath, calm thyself, Isabella. I put on my most charming smile and started again. "Edward's my younger brother, and the dear boy is out at the moment." Her face fell, and it hurt to see her hurting.

"Oh, I can just return later an-"

"Nonsense!" I'd found my cool, calm confidence and I was using that shit. It won't help me any to stumble and stutter like a fool all day. "Please come in. I'll keep you company while we wait for brother dear." And then that smile...! Dear Lord, I refuse, REFUSE to bring words like _love _into this toxic concoction of poor - or perhaps, fucking _great_ - timing and the physicality of all of my womanly wants in this form of absolute perfection, but holy shit, her smile was making me imbecilic. And by that, I do of course mean it was melting my insides into wonderfully warm '_take me, I'm yours!_' goo. And that was weird. Because I'm not one to go gaga over a pretty face.

But then, who the fuck am I kidding!? This girl is not just a pretty face. And only now, as she's all smiles and bright eyes while she steps past me into the apartment - come into my parlor, so it goes - that I realize I don't even know this girl. But she knows Ed and she knows where we live. This grievous misconduct on my part must he rectified. And my nature demands that I be damn dramatic about it.

"Ah, pardon," I closed the door behind us, lightly gripping at her shoulder to turn her back towards me before. She was trying to be polite and keep her eyes on me, but I could see how easily her eyes kept drifting. She's so fucking cute and curious, and I wanted those oceanic eyes all to myself. So I grabbed her hand bending forward to brush soft kisses over her knuckles. When I glanced back up at her with a wink, she was blushing. Are you curious for me Oh sweet? "I have been rude, please forgive me. I am Isabella, but please, call me Bella."

"Bella," She seemed to be testing it, and the way my name rolled off her tongue... I take back what I said earlier; vagina, you keep on drowning, girl, you deserve it. That damn smile of hers when she meets my eyes again with that little tinge of pink coloring her cheeks is beyond all human measure of goodness or beauty. _Want, want, fucking want. _"Well it's very nice to meet you, Bella. I'm Alice Brandon." Alice... welcome to my wonderland, heh. Oh God; don't think about her in a sexy Alice in Wonderland outfit, don't think about her in a sexy Alice in Wonderland outfit...!

_WANT, WANT, FUCKING WANT!_

I cleared my throat, shifting my gaze from her so she might not notice how hard I was fucking her with my eyes, moving past her down the hall and motioning for her to follow. She did, I could feel my body buzzing with her proximity. I just wanted to turn around and spread the buzz. It was warm and tingly. I'm sure she'd appreciate my generosity.

* * *

**OHMYGOD! I WOULD TOTALLY WRITE MORE FOR THIS EXCEPT I'M SO EXCITED I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT ENOUGH TO DO ANYTHING, BECAUSE WITHIN THE NEXT FEW HOURS MY NEPHEW WILL BE BORN! So I will do more shit laters, for all stories. BUT RIGHT NOW I'M TOO BUSY SCREAMING MY FUCKING HEAD OFF WITH EXCITEMENT!**


	3. Need

**My nephew is the most fucking beautiful being to ever have graced the face of the earth. I know he was just born, but I can't wait until he can talk, so that when he sees me he can exclaim "AUNTIE TAY!" and we can run at each other in slow motion - me with tears in my eyes, tears of joy of course - and I can scoop him up into my arms and love him.**

**Please forgive mistakes, and give me a chance to get this out of my system. I think once I've managed to get over my craze with this story, I can move back on to other stuff, hmm?**

* * *

I'd invited in the Goddess with the intent to do a little good, ol' fashioned Sherlock Holmesing so as to find out how it is that she knows lil' Eddie - while also praying to said patron saint of sensuality that she was _just_ a friend, or _just_ a colleague, or _just_ a something-that-was-not-dating-material - and hell, maybe snoop a little and find out how I may begin the long, winding road to her heart. What I didn't expect was to have my heart kicked in the ass by love; YES, I said it, _that_ word, that inescapable, abomination of a fucking word. DAMN YOU FATE, DAMN YOU TO HELL FOR FORCING ALL OF THIS BEAUTY UPON ME! My poor, human heart cannot take the shining gorgeousness that leaks from her very pores, and shines in those ocean eyes. Did I ever properly describe them?

It's like the sun setting on the sea; all greens and blues and golden-orange flecked around a night-sky pupil.

Poetic, ain't I? STILL, I swear to Alice I didn't mean to fall for the earth-bound being of purity; it just happened! Like, you never expect to be driving along and a dumbass bird to fly into your windshield, and then you're on the side of the road with feathers all over your car like "What the fucking fuck?" See, that shit _just_ happens and it can't be helped. I was hoping that it wouldn't happen to me, 'cause I mean, I don't even know her like that! SO, _logically_, it shouldn't have happened. But it did. And it started when I opened the fucking door wide and let her step in. I led her to the living room; ol' couchy's my best friend and I wanted to share him with Alice, allow her to absolutely fucking fall for how soft and plush he still is after all these years that I've been crashing on him after a long night at work. Instead of taking stock of the room, however, she had eyes only for the shelves containing my various - and a few of Ed's better picked - movies and games.

She rushed over with an excited gasp. And, damn, if that ain't the icing on the cake. A movie/game fanatic? Surely, surely not. That would be too good to be true. Like her ass, because - _be still my pounding heart!_ - she dropped down on her hands and knees to stare at the collection, running the tip of one finger over the titles as she studied them through narrowed eyes. And she was _wiggling_ that damn religion worthy flesh. I may have been across the room, rooted to the spot with wide eyes and mouth agape, but it felt like she was doing this in my face. Like, my pupils dilated and zoned in specifically on those jean-clad cheeks, so that nothing else existed in this world for a few choice moments and it just wriggling for me and me only. It was glorious. I had to snap myself out of my daze, though, turning away quickly to make my way to the kitchen before my mouth watered enough to drown me along with my poor royal vagine. She died moments ago, drowned in her own panties.

_Sniff_, it's so sad, _sob_.

"So, do you want something to dr-"

"OHMYGOD!" I jumped, turning around and running back into the room and over to her before I could even comprehend it. Holy shit. I didn't even _know_ I could move that fast. Come _on_ feet, you're making me look desperate when I gotta play this shit cool, damn it! I wasn't wearing shoes, though, only socks. So I kind of slid and almost toppled over on top of her. She looked up at me with big, bright eyes as my hands slammed into the wall over her head, just managing to not run into her. But I was towering over her, and somehow that made her very essence seep through my pants, Labyrinth tee, and crawl pleasantly across my skin.

"You okay?" I offered up an _almost_-sheepish grin, which she returned - although hers _was_ sheepish when she let her eyes trail down my body and realize how close I'd come to plowing into her (_mmmm, that still sounds nice... _); on a side note, I think she just checked me out. _GO TEAM VENTURE!_ Ahem, pardon me. And then she giggled. _Ahhh_, yes; do it _again_! AHEM, pardon _me_; I have no idea where that's coming from. Surely not from my royal vagine. She's long drowned and dead. Although, she may have come back to life as a zombie vagine, in which case she now has an insatiable, voracious appetite for those little fingers (_mmm, fingers, NEED, NEED, NEED!_) of Alice's.

"Yeah," Alice nodded lightly, still offering up that sinfully cute, sheepish grin. The way her lips tug up should be illegal. And how fuck-me pink they are. That should be a crime against nature. _Thank you, Oh Goddess, that it is not._ "I just..." Her eyes became bright, sparkly, setting-sun again and it made my breath catch in my throat for a few painful seconds. Am I dizzy because I can't breathe, or because of the pounding-drums-of-war my heart is doing right now? Oh who cares, when she glances at me out of the corner of eye and there's that blatant, pure, unadulterated love shining, I just don't give a shit. "I can't believe you HAVE this!"

Hmm, I can't believe I have your lovely gaze on me either- Why is she looking away from me?!

"Hm?" I unwillingly tear my gaze from her face - the way it's lit up with such joy makes my soul shine!... Oh god, I'm hopeless already; stick a fork in me, I'm _done_. But when I look at the VHS in her hands, my mouth drops open in surprise and I gasp. Because, surely, surely this isn't real. She can't exist. She's too good; she's so far beyond all perfections, that no earthly tongue can describe - I'd wager a guess, tangy, sweet, fucking delicious... _AHEM_, pardon me - her properly and do her visage, her being any justice. My heart, for the first time, did pound hard with something warm. Something real and tangible.

It was that something that you hear described and you laugh; because that shit is just that - _shit._ It sounds wonderful and nice, but really, what are the chances it's _actually_ really real? What are the chances, even if it is real, that you will find it in your life, or that it will find you? And if you do find it, if it is real, what are the chances it lasts? This something I'm talking about, we've all heard it; _love._ I said it earlier, yeah? A few times. It still doesn't seem real. But the way that my heart warmed (my cheeks too, because YES, I blushed, I'll admit it!) and my whole body lightened, my mind went blank and all I could do is smile... It can't be anything but. I fucking love this girl, damn it.

"I cannot _bu-LEAVE_ you have Mrs. Arris Goes to Paris!" She was smiling so hugely and-and-

_LOVE!_

"I can't believe you've heard of it," Did I say that? My brain isn't working, and I couldn't even feel my lips move. I'm too busy staring and wondering how it is that the love of my fucking life is here. Seriously, this is a dream, right? I'm making this up; I _have_ to be making this up. Someone pinch me - _Alice?_ - or, no wait, don't! I want to continue drooling over my delusions.

_So. Much. Love._

"Heard of it!? I've only been trying to own it for ten years!" AH! The light shining from her eyes! It _buuuurns!_ It burns so good; mmm, I wanna make her burn. So much. I could just throw her down on the couch and- "I mean, you can't find this anywhere; I know, I've looked!" I've been searching for you, too... "How did you get this?"

"Love," I sighed, too out of my element to give a shit that I'd just spoken my innermost thoughts aloud... or at least, one of them. She gave me a weird, confused glance and it brought my mind back up to speed. Oh, uhhh, she was talking about stuff... I should listen... too bad I didn't. "Err, uh, I'm sorry; what were you saying?" Her brows furrowed in confusion as she pursed her lips - MMMM please! - before she shook her head and smiled at me like I was being 'oh-so silly' or something along those lines.

"Where'd you get this?" She gestured towards the VHS and I grinned widely at her as a stepped back and dropped down to the floor in a cross-legged position. Hmmm... positions; oh yes, please...

"Many eons ago, in the time before the before time, I found it in this little thrift shop in my home town. I had to have it, and it was the last copy, too," She looked sooo jealous; and damn, if that wasn't the sexiest look I'd seen on that Goddess face of hers so far. And somehow, the next words came from me unbidden, and as they left I couldn't regret them. Because they were for her, this girl that picked out my heart in a box - among the jumbled mess of my unorganized collection of gathered entertainment - and asked me questions with those big, ocean eyes of hers. "You can have it, if you'd like."

Mmm, and I didn't even have to ask to see her 'O' face. But my, it's delicious.

"I-I-I couldn't!" She blushed, fumbling with the VHS, before shoving it in my unwilling hands. I frowned, shaking my head and pushing back. "I shouldn't, really, it's yours!" Still, I frowned and shook my head, nodding to her that, _no, _it was really hers now. I wouldn't take no for an answer, and my gentle smile must have said it all because her eyes became even brighter and glossy. It was so hard to not cup those pretty, rosy cheeks of hers - she's flushed now, and it's because of _me_ - and kiss the joyous, gathering tears away. "R-really?" Her voice sounded so small and fragile; childlike. It made my childish soul sing in response. Oh darling, dear sweet Goddess from on high...

"Of course," I grinned and the next thing I know, there's little Goddess pressed hard against me, a delighted squeal sounding in my ear as she wrapped her little arms around my head and pulled my face into her breasts. Dear Hades, take this life, I am done with it. I am content, and shall accept death as you should so choose to bestow it upon me. In other words: I can officially die happy. Ahhh, bliss is such sweet, sweet - where the _fuck_ did they go! I'd somehow managed to close my eyes through the experience, and then she was gone and I'd felt so fucking cold. Colder than cold, I'm talking _Hey Ya!_ ice cold. My eyes snapped open and I was grimacing like you wouldn't believe. But my eyes softened and I felt the mean in me melt away. Because she looked so god damn happy and I couldn't find the words to describe it how much I couldn't stand to get mad at her. I don't have the right after all; it's not like me and her are actually... well... Its wishful thinking right? Because she knows Ed, and I know Ed, and... "How do you kno-"

"OH DARLING SISTER DEEEAR!" _FUCK!_ My eyes closed as fear and pain descended down on my poor, unprotected heart. I heard Edward skipping, yes, skipping - not because he's gay, but because we are incredibly weird when we are together, alone - down the hall as the door slammed shut behind him. It was with a scowl and hunched shoulders that I opened my eyes and glanced up into those ocean eyes. They were brighter than the sun, and that hurt. Because they were aimed over my shoulder as Edward's whatever-the-fuck-he-was-saying cut off suddenly and he gasped. It was surprised. And delighted. "Alice!?"

"Edward!" I glanced back in time to see Alice as she rushed past me, jumped and latched onto Edward. Her legs went about his waist, her arms around his neck, and her mouth landed perfectly on his. It was weird, seeing them together. It was weird because it shouldn't have been him there. At least, that's what my brain and heart told me. They screamed it in my ears, tore it into my soul with a howling fury that left angry, aching gouges. My heart was stolen from me, in front of my very eyes, and it became quite apparent there was NO _just_ anything.

They were dating.

"Ed," I forced a smile on my face as Alice disentangled herself and started to babble excitedly to my younger brother, smiling that Goddess smile with those ocean-sunset eyes of hers sparkling up a storm in my still aching chest. "So you and _Alice_, huh?" He had the decency to look sheepish and guilty. Damn right he should; he'd never warned me. And that was the one rule we had, we always admitted when we were dating because of the one mishap where I'd fucked his bimbo girlfriend. She'd left out that she was dating him, and he hadn't warned me that she looked good enough to eat out before he'd invited her over. The relationship quickly dissolved, we'd gotten into a huge fight, and had left the day with the promise that we wouldn't ever allow something like that to happen again. We wouldn't let some dumb bitch get between our sibling relationship as the closest fucking friends ever.

My glare spoke volumes, but his spoke more.

_I WANT HER. I NEED HER!_

_SHE was HIS. SHE WAS HIS!_

She was his. SHE was his. SHE WAS FUCKING HIS.

"Do you guys want anything to drink?" I stood up quickly, heading past them and towards the kitchen once again as Alice continued to try and get Edward's attention. My brother opened his mouth like he wanted to spout some apologetic BS at my back. But I kept going, ignoring how him, her, _them_, as I moved with purpose towards the kitchen, the fridge, and the alcohol waiting for me on the inside. I don't have work tonight, and right now I seriously just need some damn bitter warmth. I'm already bitter; so really, I just need the warmth. Considering my bed will remain quite cold tonight. And my heart is a frozen hunk of glacial ice sitting sadly in my chest.

"Just water, thanks!" Alice called, and my heart - damn traitor! - burned with love again at her voice, warming my veins with the fresh flow of hot blood throughout my body. I smiled, despite myself, and my brother's large hand descend on my shoulder. I turned with a beer in one hand and a water in the other, still smiling. He looked somber, sad, and slightly suspicious.

"Why'd you do it?" I knew what he was talking about. Because even now, I could hear the sound of the television turning on and Alice fumbling around with remotes. And then the beginning credits of the movie I held so near and dear to my heart. The movie I wouldn't even let Edward _touch_, never mind giving him the chance to actually put in the VCR-DVD combo we had. The movie I would have fought hell and high water to keep with me. The movie that now belonged to Alice. I forced a smile, instead of the sneer that tugged at my lips, and just moved past him.

"She's the first girl you've brought home that I don't hate-" And by, I do of course mean that I love her. "Why not?" He didn't question me, but I could feel his storm of suspicions while he stared hard at the back of my head as I left him alone in the kitchen. Like he was trying to read my mind. Good luck there, buddy. The look on her face of child-like joy as I stepped into the room made my heart swell, made love flow through my veins anew. And I can't believe I don't know her like that. I don't know her at all past her name and her obvious good taste in movies. But I love her. And I need her. And it's wrong, because she isn't mine to love, to need, to want. And in some sick way, I realize I don't care.

_God, kill me before I do something stupid!_

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**Howdy howdy! Yeah, Ed and Alice together is weird. But it might have made a good canon pairing. The mind reader and the psychic. Would have been interesting, at least. I've fallen for people when they finish my sentences for me when I'm fangirl-squealing over some metal, cartoon, movie, song - etc. Because I have weird, vast tastes, and I'm sadly surround by vapid individuals with no style. I cannot help to reach for light in the darkness.**

**Poor Bells. I know how it is to love those straight women. *sighs sorrowfully* Especially when they lead you on and flirt back... ANYway, I'm oh-so delighted that you guys are liking Bella's OOC thoughts, and I ran out of room in the summary to warn how OOC this was going to be, so yeah. If you like, I continue, yes? Yes. But uh... I will only know you like it if you REVIEW or say hi. It's right there below these words... see it? Give a chance, eh? You don't have to log in or anything. AND CONGRATS TO GUEST WHO'S NEPHEW WAS BORN, aunt/uncle-hood is fucking great, right?! Alright, that's goodbye, dear sweet readers.**


	4. Heart

She's so god damn close, right? Like, literally less than inches. So, so close. Pressed against my side, and I start to realize now - distracted from the movie I love almost more than all Disney movies combined (and by the mother fucking by, I love the shit out of Disney movies) by the very thoughts so much so that it's only jumbled, blurred images in the background - that God is one cruel SOB. He couldn't just kill me, end the torture of my poor heart, taking quite the ass-kicking from the ache of it's pounding rhythm. I couldn't just zone out for an hour, day, the rest of my soon-to-be tortured existence. Oh no, no that would be taking it the _easy_ way.

No, instead I'm forced to sit still as a statue, juxtaposing with the being brought from on high to be the one orchestrating my slow, painful demise. Am I panting, or is that all in my head? And, _FUCK,_ she touched me! I should be excited, yeah? I've only wanted to feel the caress of those little fingertips against my skin since opening the door and becoming starstruck by her. I've only craved and ached for it, what seems, forever. But I can't even stand it, as wonderfully, sinfully good it feels for those fingers to curl around my forearm, it isn't right. And it can't feel right, EVER. Mostly because Edward is sitting her other side, arm around her little shoulders.

_Just rip out my beating heart while you're at it, you ass. _

I know that it doesn't make sense, but I feel such an irrational fury at the sight of his arm around her. I feel such an unfounded sort of possession for her. Like, sure, she's dating Ed; sure, I have a great respect for boundaries set by being in a relationship; but she is actually _MINE _and, therefore, he needs to step off before we start having some serious fucking problems. Ever felt like that? Like you're about the growl, snap your teeth, and then maybe beat someone with a shoe for someone else's affections? I am so serious. I've the strangest urge to pull her into my arms, kiss her senseless, then push her behind me so that I can go all mad dog on my younger brother.

I _want _his blood. I want to claw out his eyes and break his hands because how fucking _dare _he look upon her, touch her so freely as he does! And she is _his _girlfriend. I've got less right to feel protective and possessive than he, but my heart swears it staked it's claim and it is FAR too late to stop the intense feelings furiously burning a trail of hatred through my usually logical brain... hmm, as it turns out, my heart's totally right. I fucking _despise_ Eddie right now. It's all his fault for not warning me before dropping this bombshell on me!

MAYBE, if he had bothered to pull his dumb ass head out of his ass and _think _about the fact that Alice is so very much my type it just shouldn't be allowed, I wouldn't be in this situation. I'm almost certain that had I had a bit of time to prepare myself - and by that, I do of course mean that I would have crushed my own heart under layers of _hands off, bitch! _thoughts that would have stolen all hopes from my aching blood pumper before now - my heart would have realized, _Oh, off limits, right. _and it wouldn't have targeted her for it's affection. But _noooo,_ he had to keep silent. Twatward shall be his new name, henceforth! So says I.

But really! We have such simple rules for each other concerning relationships and partners. We ALWAYS inform of the status of our love lives so that we won't have a repeat of that one time I ruined a relationship that was destined to fail anyway. And he, he had to go and shit all over the rules. ALL. OVER. THEM. Shit. He shit on them. This makes me think back to all the times, as a young girl, that I had the chance to really make Ed's life a living hell... this makes me think back to those times and wonder... why the fuck did I go easy on him? What could have possibly possessed me to be _nice _to that ass clown?!

And now it's too late to do anything about it without being a total, complete bitch and ruining _this _relationship, but this time, quite intentionally. Do I have it in me to be a home wrecker? Yes, yes I do.

"Bella, Bella; look!" Alice pointed excitedly to the screen, where Mrs. Arris finally has her admittedly pretty pink dress on. And I look back to that joyous look on her goddess face. And I realize, fucking again, that I love her. Ugh, it still feels so weird to admit it, but I do. So I just know, no matter how much my unwonted affections push me to do all I can to obtain the goddess's favor, I can't. _Won't. _Because she doesn't deserve that, _ME, _wrecking up everything and throwing her into turmoil. She's straight, after all - we now interrupt your scheduled programming for this special news update: FUCKING DAMN IT! - so it would seriously fuck with her head in the worst regard; and really, I'll end up breaking my own heart._  
_

_Tis better to have loved and lost...? _

Fuck you, conscience. Fuck you very much.

* * *

"Uhhhhg, that movie blows," I could hear Ed's groan from the kitchen where I'd scampered away to hide. Well, I mean, not _really _hide, psssh. That would mean I was trying to... Oh fuck it, I tossed away my bad ass Bella-ness the second I started making goo-goo eyes at the gracious being giggling on the couch. I'm totally hiding, I'm a coward and I give up, okay!? YOU HEAR THAT GOD? YOU _WIN! _I sincerely hope you're pleased. I'm scared shitless of myself and what I might do if I'm alone with this girl - never mind Edward is right there, I hardly feel as though that would help or change the ultimate outcome. So yes, I'm hiding.

Fucking A Batman, I'm screwed if this is the way things continue on. I sit here like a hermit, let my brother paw the girl of my dreams. I blame my mother. I've done some research, and as far as I can tell, homosexuality comes from the mum. I mean, that might have only been pertaining to guys... But I digress. It's all HER fault that I'm in this situation. She birthed me with her gay genes, and Edward. She birthed him too, and he's just a... Mmm, the _words_ I could use to describe that boy...

"Hey!" I glanced up from the bottle in my hands. I was glaring at it like it was my worst enemy, when really it was my best bestie right now; especially considering couchy's been taken from me. _Gah, when ISN'T it her?_ "What are you doing in here all alone?" Moping. Because I'm fucking morbid and shit. Please, take my life, I should only die so happily by your beautiful hands. See what I mean? My bad ass-ery is seriously lacking. I'm pathetic. And heart sick. Heal me, Oh gracious one?

Mmm, nurse outfit Alice... Wow, good feelings returned! I grinned at her, and she seemed taken aback by the sudden change, because she just stared for a long minute. Then, realizing she was staring, she flushed a pretty pink and turned her cheek. What-... What is this...?! Is that... could it be... It is! My sweet bad ass-ery! Have you been hiding behind Alice? Silly, silly. I only grinned wider.

"I'm not the one who's alone," I stepped closer, tapping her nose and tilting my head in the general direction of the living room."Eh?" She smiled shyly up at me - No! Down heart, bad girl! - but didn't dare to rush away to her beau, my bro.

"He gets me all day long, but who _KNOWS _when I'll get the chance to be a nuisance to you again!" Any time you want. Every time you want. Is forever an option, if not, can we make it one?

"Oh, I'm sure you'll find a chance. After all, I've got tons more movies, and I haven't even brought out the '64," Her face absolutely lit up, and I could only assume that she understood what I was talking about.

"Do you have Gauntlet?" Oh, my heart! I can't... can't breathe...!

"Would it be weird if I said I love you?" Did I just say that aloud? But, oh damn, looks like all my fucks to be given today are gone; well golly gee, that's a shame. But she, bless her divine soul, only smiled and took my hands in hers. _Holy shit, they're so small and delicate! _Now I _really _can't breathe. I'm drowning in her ocean eyes and warmth and it's absolutely the best way to die, although I only now wish for life because... she's so...

"Not at all," She broke off to giggle that sugary sweet giggle that made my head buzz pleasantly. "I was going to say so earlier, but I figured you might think me strange..." She'd dropped my hands, so I took hers and tugged insistently until her ocean eyes were on mine, and spoke with such conviction that - praise Jesus, there's hope for me yet! - she blushed prettily again.

"Never; you, dear Alice, are beyond perfect," Hmm, I wonder if my gayness is showing...? I grinned, because, yeah probably, but she wasn't reacting badly. That was a good sign, yeah?

"Hey you two!" The voice of my bro broke the moment - shattered it into irreplaceable pieces - and reminded me that,_ oh yeah, _ this was wrong. She was taken. By _him. _"Should I be worried what you're doing in there?" He was joking, of course, but Alice seemed to take it quite seriously, tearing her hands from mine - wow, um, ouch; I do believe I've been rejected - with a fury. And one damn pretty blush. She turned around and nearly sprinted back to the living room, while I followed slowly after at a much more sedate pace with my hands stuffed in my pockets and an entirely self satisfied smirk adorning my cheeks.

_She totally wants me, and I just CAN'T feel bad about that, even if it's wrong._

And, my, my, it is. But the more I watch Alice try to hide herself in Edward's neck, behind muffled babbling about how we were JUST talking about the greatest, most durable game system ever, the more I come to accept that something this wrong _has _to be right. And if it isn't, well... good thing I'm the villain and she's the saint.

* * *

**I don't know how it is that my kindle seems the only device I can properly type on. I figure is cuz I'm a night owl, and this is my only internet-accessing device to use at night, and I'm strangely inspired to write this. probably because of love, and Tegan and Sara... mostly Tegan and Sara. **

**So I had to jump the gun due to threats: although Bella and Alice won't actually get together until later, I promise not to make the Edward-Alice action unbearable. And if you happen to find this Alice sounds too good to be true, trust me, my basis is real and I WAAAANT her so bad. She's straight and taken; care to guess my inspiration for this one? Anyway, I'll work on other shit when the muses sing for them, until then, goodnight, goodbye, forgive mistakes and please do review. ^^**


	5. Lunch

**Okay, so apparently people think I'm funny. People I've never met. That don't even know me. So there's a sight chance i might just be fucking hilarious. At least, this is what I've gathered from what people tell me, so don't quote me on that.**

* * *

"_Shit!_" I cursed under my breath as I leapt - quite ninjafully - from my bed. Oh thank _Alice;_ I'd remembered to lock my door! That was pure luck and chance, because when I'd made the stupid decision (which I was actually not yet regretting) to call up Jake to come and visit and, uhh, help me to, umm... well, he came to make the dark day bright again. Edward was working, I didn't have to go in to work until later this evening, and Edward wouldn't bother stopping by for lunch. So I was alone, bored, and dying from Alice withdrawal. _  
_

"Bella?" I was halfway across the room, heading towards the window with the plan to force it open and toss my acquired goods out, but I froze when _that_ voice followed after the knocking against my bedroom door that had initially sent me a-scurryin'. There's... there's _no _way. It's _not _possible.

"Uhh, j-just a minute!" That didn't sound too much like I was trying to hide something, right? I could only hope not, but the sounds of my struggles with the old, hardly ever opened window - and it made this absolutely horrid screeching sort of noise like nails on a chalkboard - were _probably _suspicious. And, shit! It probably smells like smoke! I should've lit incense, or-or-

"Bella?" Shit, no time!

"Coming!" I yelled back, casting my eyes around the room real quick to see if I'd missed anything. Aaand I'm... alright, I'm good, coolio. "I'm coming." I called again, cursing loudly when I tripped over a pair of boots in the middle of the floor that made me stumble into the door. Damn bastards are messing up my groove! I continued to curse, mostly at the boots, as I fumbled with door, pulling it open and finding that it wasn't all in my imagination. Here I was hoping I was crazed, and yet...

"Hi," The smile she aimed at me was shy, and it made my pathetic heart pound with want. Was it harder to breathe, or was that just her stealing my breath away? Oh, how her beauty can be likened to the fairest- "I hope I wasn't interrupting..." And her eyes are as the sun, blinding and brilliant; and oh, how I am burned by her gaze!

"Yeah," I sighed - cough, swooned, cough, cough - smiling big and goofy. She giggled, my heart soared, and I swear I was floating amongst the clouds, on a sea of merry-happy feelings. "I missed you." Oh, is my mouth saying things it shouldn't? I'm too busy taking her in, and boy- "You're so fucking cute." Why was she blushing? Oh, who cares! She's so damn tantalizing when she does; makes my fingers itch to give her a _real _reason to color so prettily.

"Thank you," She was looking down at her shoes, and it was so endearingly bashful. In some part of my brain, I had to wonder if she realized just _how _adorable she was, and how dangerous that was for her to willingly flaunt in front of my starving, Alice-hungry gaze. For the most part, however, my brain could only focus on the part about her adorableness. Because it was right there in front of me. Close enough to touch... "Ummm... Bella?"

Oh! She squeaked, how cute! And my, but her cheeks are even hotter.

"Hmmmm?" I looked into those fantastic eyes of hers, and they were almost comically wide. I couldn't help but grin. And Edward's at work, too; really, this is fucking fate. Fate has set a plan, and I can only assume that plan to be something along the lines of me wooing Alice with my various, obviously magnetic charms. And then she leaves Edward for me, we link arms, and skip off into the sunset. And a picnic. Yes, definitely a picnic by a waterfall. AND KITTENS.

"Why... why are you, uhh, t-touching my face?" I blinked away the awesome delusions, focusing my attention back on her and... wow, she's totally right, I _am _touching her. That might explain why my fingertips are tingling. _Fuck, _her skin is SO soft. It hurt to draw my hand from her cheek, but I managed it somehow. Don't ask how, I'm not honestly sure how I did it.

"Sorry, you're just so..." Attractive beyond belief and human measure. Worthy of your own religious following, of which I am your most devout worshipper. Mind blowingly sexy in such subtle ways as to turn the most mundane motions into such sultry seduction. "Unreal. I'm still trying to pinch myself to see if anything as wonderful as you can exist outside of this dream." So... very... red. I've never seen anyone blush like this. It's... holy shit, it's official, she's _too _cute for her own good, or mine. She needs to exit the premises before my little cup brims too high with tiddles for her. "Oh hey, what're you doing here, anyway?" Not that I mind, but seriously.

"Oh, uhh... well, I brought Edward lunch," I glanced over my shoulder, noticing the time, and then back to her, noticing how she couldn't seem to look directly at me. Did I say something weird? I've been too busy staring and mentally stalking to notice the dribble that has been pouring from my mouth. "And he mentioned that you were here, and you were alone, and I just thought I could-"

"Grace me with your heavenly company? I can only offer my sweet lovin' as due compensation for this gift you have bestowed upon me, I'm sure it'll be enough if we commit ourselves fully to the activity for the next five hours or so that Edward's gonna be working," Oh... did I say that out loud? Good, she should know to keep her options open. Weirdly, though, she wasn't blushing; her eyes were just impossibly wide as she stared up at me. And then she laughed. I mean, doubling over, clutching at her stomach, tears in her eyes laughter. Now, she has a beautiful laugh, but I had enough pride to feel a bit miffed over her laughing at my proposal.

"I-I'm so-hah-sorry, it's just - hahah! You're just as gay as Edward said," ... Pardon _me, _and uh, the fuck Edward's been saying now!? I should have kicked his ass more when we were kids. So many times did he yell 'uncle' and I just let him up, like it was logical and therefore right. Oh, if only I'd known how much of an assfuck he would turn out to be.

"And how gay is that, exactly?" Alice's amusement gradually died down, and then she was pursing her lips and studying me through narrowed eyes. It was strangely sexy, it made me want her. Naked. And on my bed. And looky look over there, just in the room behind me, my bed! How convenient, we should test this accident of fate.

"Come eat this Pad Thai with me and I'll tell you," Clever strategy, not she even _needs_ to bribe me with-...

"Did you say Pad Thai?" She smirked, shifting slightly and pulling a plastic bag with a big yellow smiley face on it from behind her back to hold it up in front of my face. A groan of pure want, the kind I thought only Alice could invoke, was torn from my throat as the smell wafted up to me. And I was totally unprepared for the way my mouth watered like it was Alice on a silver platter being offered to me. So I wasn't prepared for my body's automatic response, which was to grab Alice and drag her into my room and relieve her of her goodies at the same time that I pushed her towards my bed. She tripped over my boots - they don't discriminate, they hate everyone - and fell onto the untidy sheets with a surprised yelp.

I paid no mind as I turned and dropped the bag onto my desk before sprinting out of the room, slipping on socked feet into the kitchen. I pulled the fridge door open, eyes frantically searching the inside before falling on the answer to ALL of life's sauce-related questions: sriracha. I was sliding back into my room before Alice could turn confused, slightly annoyed wide eyes my way, and even when she did, I was shameless. There are simply no fucks to be given once Thai food is on the table. I opened the bag, pulling out two to-go boxes and two sets of plastic utensils. I grinned at Alice as I stacked one box on top of the other, and balancing the sriracha and utensils on top of that, carefully walked over to the bed.

I plopped gracelessly down next to her, offering her my prize. She rolled her eyes at me, but smiled and removed the top box, as well as the sriracha and utensils. I just hardly remembered to thank her before opening the sacred box of wonders and drowning it in my favorite foreign hot sauce... well, other than El Yucateco, but that's a whole different animal. I moaned happily as the flavor punched my tastebuds in the face, in the best fucking way, let me tell ya... Alice giggled beside me, but I didn't notice.

"A unicorn on fire, spewing rainbow glitter from its horn," Hmm, yeah, Pad Thai _is _delicious... wait, what?

"Huh?" I speared a piece of chicken on my fork, just managing to tear my eyes from my food so I could offer Alice a confused glance.

"That's how Edward described your gayness," Now that gave me pause... that fuck called me a flaming, rainbow sparkle unicorn. I'm... actually sort of insulted. I mean, I fucking hate unicorns.

"Well that's rude," I finally muttered, staring down at my food with a scowl. Way to indirectly ruin a good meal, inconsiderate ass. Alice was just giggling away about it, though, as if Edward was actually funny, our worse, _right. _So I stuck my tongue out at her. She just laughed harder, falling back on my bed and kicking her feet in the air. "H-Hey! Careful!" I shifted my box from my lap, snatching hers up just before it fell to the floor. I stretched further over her, setting the box on my nightstand and shifting just enough to lean over her with a mild glare aimed down at her sheepish grin.

"Sorry..."

"You should be; I would have _had _to punish you greatly if you'd spilled good food without even first taking a bite." I shook my head, frowning. "That's just pure blasphemy."

"Oh yeah?" Was she challenging me? She's totally challenging me, yeah? I'm not seeing into things that aren't there, she's _actually_ challenging me, right? I need to make sure, so that the smirk she's wearing its understood properly, and so that my own answering smirk is totally founded. Was she leaning up towards me, or had I moved closer? Either way, I can't complain when her face is so wonderfully close to mine. _Just a bit closer..._

"Yeah," I breathed, holding my position. Technically, I'm not the home wrecker if she chooses me over Edward. She was quiet then, her ocean eyes drowning me - how many times have I died and been reborn in those eyes, I wonder? And when did I become such a hopeless sap? Oh yeah, that's right; as soon as I met her. Sometimes I get so lost in her Aliceness, I just don't know what's going on. Her brows furrowed, and I blinked, shaking myself from this stupor and trying to lean back, but she followed. Before I could process what was going on, she'd grabbed fistfuls of my shirt in her delicate hands and pulled me towards her.

Her face was pressed against my shoulder, and through my shirt, my skin was buzzing with her touch. I feel delightfully light headed, my heart is gonna fucking burst, I swear. And I can't even remember how to breathe. _Alice... the goddess is touching me, ME. _Stop the mother fucking presses, bitches, this bitch right here is getting manhandled by the girl of her dreams. All those times I was ready to die, swore I could have died happy - filthy lies. Take me into your arms kung fu action Jesus, I'm _finally _ready. And I will admit, I've many regrets, but I wouldn't do a damn thing different, not at all. There's no telling if any difference could somehow effect the overall outcome of me, _here, _with her gripping me tight and-

_Why does she ALWAYS fucking let go!? _

"Smoke," As she drew back, she fixed me with a suspicious, narrowed-eyed gaze. "You smell like smoke." I smell like-... Oh. Ooooooh. Oh _shit! _I totally forgot about that! "Why do you smell like smoke, huh? There something you aren't telling me, _Bella?_"

Uhhhh, it's seriously sexy when you glare? I want your babies? I've been searching for you all my life? Please get naked?

"... I'm sorry, what was your question?" Maybe I should stop getting so caught up in my Alice delusions... it just _might _make it easier to carry out a conversation. But who knows, all that matters is that her lips are moving and hmm, I like watching them. She really does have a gorgeous mouth.

"You're smoking cigarettes, aren't you!" My eyes snapped up to hers, my brows climbing up in shock.

"What?"

"Oh, don't play du-"

"What!? No, no Alice, I wouldn't-" I had to break off to laugh at the absurdity of the very idea. She didn't seem too happy about that. "No, I _hate _cigarettes! I would _never _even..." I trailed off because, really, need I go on?

"But you smell like..." Oh, oh yeah! She wasn't supposed to _know. _But then she trailed off and her eyes got huge. SHE KNOWS, OH GOD NOOOO- "_Bella,_" Her whisper was scandalized, but her eyes were bright and her smile was mischievous. "You're so _bad!_" I grinned warily, nodding slowly.

"The baddest," Her smile twisted into a grin as she leaned closer.

"So... got any left?" She was so shy about it, so curious. And I should hate myself for wanting to corrupt that purity that my mind had associated with her, but damn Alice, I love your rebel side. And, oh, I will fucking indulge that.

"What'll you give me for a good time?" That's exactly as dirty as I wanted it to sound. Somehow, though, I wasn't prepared for the blush or the determined look in her eyes to compliment it so perfectly. Oh hell, I get the feeling this is gonna make me hurt good...

"How about..." She seemed to be thinking, or debating something, either way- "A kiss!"

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**I won't reveal what happens next, but I think I might do the next chapter in Alice POV. What do y'all think? Oh, big news, MY NEPHEW IS EVEN MORE AMAZING IN PERSON! I never knew it was possible to love someone so much *sighs wistfully* Ok, so forgive mistakes, review, etc. And I'll see ya next time! ^^**


	6. Bad

**Herro! 'Sup? I'm kinda blazed. Just found Silent Hill Revelation online, for free, full fuckin' package, too. WOOO HOOO! I didn't have to download or anything, and really, it's rare that you tube doesn't butt fuck you over something, so this is kinda rockin'. I was high the first time I laughed my way through that movie, ironically enough. GO PYRAMID HEAD, YOU MY BITCH!**

* * *

_Sooo... Bella._

She's beautiful. And it's not like I wasn't listening when Edward told me _countless _stories of her troubles with men. His exact words:

"_Oh yeah, my sister is the queerest queer to ever queer,_" He says this all very casually, but then turns slightly serious, _"But she's what one might call a 'hot lesbian'._" And he air quotes that. And he laughed, and I laughed because he had a wonderful laugh. And a wonderful smile. And he was a- _IS_, he _IS_ a wonderful guy. He treats me so well, and he's so funny and sweet, and sometimes it's like he can read my mind because he always knows what I'm thinking, and I can just finish his sentences, and we have SO MUCH IN COMMON. And, and-

And his sister is beautiful. Oh sure, I'd listened, I'd laughed, I'd _known_ that his sister was a "hot lesbian". But I wasn't _prepared_ for her to be beautiful. She wasn't hot or pretty and cute, she was beautiful. Like one of those black and white, silent film era actresses that are so effortless, breath-takingly beautiful, in such a soft way. Does that make sense? She was all sultry eyes, plump lips, high cheekbones and sly smiles. And I knew she was gay, and I'm straight, but... it was so _flattering._ And I'm weird, because I don't even _know_ her, _like_ her like that, past that she's Edward's elder sister. But I couldn't help flushing every time her eyes ate me up.

Oh, I noticed, of course I noticed. She'd bite her lips, her fingers would twitch and then curl into her palms, and then she'd shove her fists into her pockets, avert her eyes, breath heavily through her nose. And her eyes dilated every time she spared me a glance, and I read, thank you. I giggled to myself at the thought, _oh, my eyes dilate for you!_ Bella probably didn't think I knew she was staring; but I must admit, I did relish it. It made _me_ feel beautiful, and then she would complement me in some small way or just do something so incredible - she _gave_ me Mrs. Arris Goes to Paris, do you know how _big_ of a deal that is to me? I cried. Yeah, I did, I admit it. And I feel no shame for that because that kind of made my week.

And she was gay. _My_ big brother was gay and it felt like justification to me: Edward and I meant for each other. We had _so_ much in common, because my big brother was really good looking, and super buff, but _sooo_ sparkly gay (as Edward might put it). We were perfect for each other right? Yeah, no. Because his sister was beautiful, and kind, and smart, cool, laid back, and she made me feel beautiful, and she made me laugh and smile and... She was like the gay, _girl_ version of Edward, and I was feeling that attraction for the him in her.

_Shut up, I need to tell myself SOMETHING so I can sleep at night!_

I suppose, knowing I was feeling some attraction - I grudgingly admitted it myself, after warring with myself over the past week since I last met her - and knowing she was HIGHLY attracted to me, I shouldn't have done what I did. Okay, so I _KNOW_ I shouldn't have done what I did, but now that it was out, now that my own traitorous mouth had betrayed my secret curiosities, it was too late to take it back or change. She'd been _smoking_, and I could still remember high school and college and how much _fun_ it had been then, and how much _fun_ she was right now, all the time, but right _now_ I could do this. And she'd looked so mischievous and guilty, like she hated herself for offering _it_ to me, but I just couldn't help myself. I wanted it. So I'd said what I shouldn't have.

"How about... a kiss?" It had seemed logical in my head. I'd tried to rationalize it to make it seem like it wasn't, make it seem like it was _okay_ for me to offer that. In my head, I just thought, well she's a lesbian, and she's attracted to me, and I'm finding she isn't bad looking, and I'm also finding I'm curious. Logically, what I'm offering her should be of value, and well worth what I might receive in return. _Tongue._ ERR, I mean...!

AHEM, ahh, ahem, I... Hmm. I... I was... kidding?

_Ugh, who am I trying to convince here!?_

I'm an idiot, alright? I admit it, I'm a selfish, bratty idiot, and I shouldn't have, SHOULD NOT have provoked her, or suggested that; but I know it's too late. I couldn't even look at her, just blush and glare at the wall off to my side, angry at myself and mostly nervous that she'd say yes. And excited. And nauseous. I'm about to vomit, I swear. Maybe I can blame it on the Pad Thai? Which... I have not taken a bite of... damn it. _EEK! She's _TOUCHING_ me!_

Her fingers under my chin, curling around the curve of my jaw to tilt my head back her way. She was smiling softly at me, and it was playful and wanting and burning and sweet and- _she DIDN'T kiss me._ She just let go and drew back slightly, smiling still as she leaned over and thrust - _uunf! _- her hand underneath her pillow. She withdrew a little packet of something, but it smelled _rank_. I knew what it was, and although it confirmed my suspicions (as if her own confirmation hadn't been enough), I still felt sort-of surprised by it. I smiled shyly, nonetheless and watched as she reached into her back pocket and pulled out her wallet. She opened it up and withdrew a small packet, package thingy. It had clowns on it, and from inside that she withdrew some thin white paper.

"Secretly, I'm black," Bella said, drawing my attention back to her face; her lips were tilted up in a gleeful grin and I had to smile with her. I bet she doesn't even really realize how beautiful she is; people like her seldom do. Any woman who gets her would be lucky; I ignored the little voice in the back of my head that insisted that should be _me_.

"And how's that?" I think she wasn't mentioning the kiss thing because she knew I was just as shocked as she was with my offer, and I was nervous and embarrassed and _God_, she's so fucking nice! Considerate and caring and _perfect_, and I'm not gay but... _If only she were a MAN._ That same voice that spoke up, about my want of her to be mine, spoke up once again; if only she were a man didn't matter, because she WASN'T a man, but she was here, and she was a woman and would know me better than any man could, right? So what was so wrong? My brother was gay and-

"I can roll a mean-ass joint," I glanced down at her hands, watching her work. Fingers rolling and pinching and - _uuunf. _She had nice hands, very pretty; long fingers, like her brother, but they had that delicate, feminine softness that made them seem so much more beautiful. Have I mentioned she's beautiful? And I'm straight, so I'm allowed to observe the beauty of women around me without it being gay or something - and no, I'm still not sure who I'm trying to convince here, just work with me please; I'm kind of having a mental breakdown. She brought it to her mouth though, and ran her tongue along a piece of the paper, and _back_, and mmm, okay, I'm officially a freak. And a pervert. God, I'm such a fucking pervert; I'm going to hell for this, Momma forgive me! "Here, hold this." She handed it over and began patting around her pockets, before giving out a triumphant cry and pulling out matches.

Matches, really?

"Don't judge," She smiled at my sort-of sneer, but my raised brows wouldn't lower. "Just give it here." I handed it back and she put it to her lips - I feel like my thoughts are revolving around her lips _waaay_ too much right now. She struck a match and brought it to the joint, inhaling as she did so, so that it caught and then she was waving the match out and inhaling with such a look of concentration. And she was still breath-taking, even doing something that seemed so mundane and _bad_. And she reached up, pulling the joint away and turning to me. She waved at me frantically, or maybe she was fanning herself...? Either way, I leaned closer, kinda concerned. Her eyes were big and seemed almost anxious. For the life of me I couldn't understand why. And then she cupped my cheek.

"What're yo-" Her mouth was on mine and I inhaled in shock, taking in the smoke she'd been holding in. It was smoke, right? So of course it would, SHOULD, _DID_ taste like smoke, but it also tasted like Bella. And I was only too shocked to find that Bella tasted good. So I fisted my hands in her hair as she tried to draw back and away from me, and I pulled her closer. Call it a momentary lapse of judgment, call it the high (never mind that I was not even yet _high_) stealing my senses, call it what you will - it was amazing. Her lips moving against mine, and dear lord they were soft.

And her tongue, _YES, YEEES!_ Oh God, she tasted _so_ good. _And I'm dating her brother. _I drew back quickly then, my face hot and my eyes focusing on _anything_ in the room other than her. There was a dent in the wall, fist sized and shaped. I wondered what'd gotten her so angry, successfully blocked out the last fifteen seconds of my life. Why are my clothes all askew? I finally glanced back at her, glaring slightly. But grinning, also.

"Bella, you are _so_ bad!" I laughed, at her weak grin; the poor woman was nearly _wheezing._ Okay, can I feel proud of myself? I just wowed the lesbian, that takes some skill, right? Or... or should I be berating myself for kind-of cheating on her brother - because once her hands had started roaming when I was too busy with her mouth to notice, once she started groping, that officially counted as cheating, right?

"The baddest," she repeated, same smile as before, same effortless beauty weakening the defenses I'd-

_What am I THINKING!?_ She handed the joint over to me, and I looked up at her, confused, blushing, curious, wanting - SHUT UP, ME!

"What-"

"Just take it, babe, that's all yours." Mine? Why? She grinned at me, that grin that made me blush more and more every time I saw it; it was that confidant, _oh, I'm SO gonna get you, girlie_ grin of hers. Did I never mention that grin? It's one of the things that really helped me to immediately catch on to the fact that she wanted me and, oh yes, she was probably... Well, nevermind that. "You've definitely earned it." The '_with that kiss of yours'_ went without saying. I could see it in her eyes and in that suggestive smirk she aimed my way.

Oh Bella, you're _so _bad. And you're taking me down with you.

* * *

"What do you mean you've never seen the original Silent Hill?!" I shrugged and Bella glared at me, it was a pretty half-assed glare at that. She was high, and one eyelid was drooping slightly lower than normal, her frown was weak and she was just grumbling at me. Not talking, but grumbling and muttering. Slurring, at times; and then she'd go off into fits of giggles and I'd giggle because her giggles are amazingly infectious. "You're so pretty."

It wasn't the first time in the past hour that she'd sighed something along those lines to me. It wouldn't be the last time, either. I knew it, because she had that dreamy look in her eyes that she always gets whenever she stares at me. I was blushing, and there was a light dusting of pink on her cheeks but I got the distinct impression it wasn't because she was embarrassed. She would lick and bite her lips, so I _knew_ she wasn't embarrassed, I just didn't know what, in particular, she had to have running through her mind involving me.

I knew what I was thinking about. Edward. A lot about Edward. He and I had a great relationship, we were closer than close. I've explained it already, haven't I? We finish each other's thoughts and sentences, we have so much in common and we get along so well. We don't fight, he treats me well, surprises me with flowers and dates and various sweet scenarios. We were both straight and _so_ compatible. And in all the time I'd known him, he'd never kissed me like Bella had; I mean, sure, he'd kissed me in a fashion very much like Bella had, but he'd never _kissed_ me like _Bella_ had.

He'd never tasted so good, felt so wonderful, drawn me in so hotly, left me feeling so dazed and blown away. My lips still tingled. I wondered if her's did as well.

"Thanks," I muttered, remembering her words, remembering her and the fact that she's here in front of me right now. Err, well, beside me on her bed. With bellies full of Pad Thai and minds full of fuzz. And I'm so full of life and everything that I don't want to move far from the warmth radiating from her body. She's _seriously_ warm, like, human body heater status. I want to curl up next to her and sleep. "And no, but I saw the newest one." She grunted, and I couldn't resist scooting closer to her.

If she noticed, she said nothing.

"Well, that just won't do! You're lucky I felt like watching it last night," She sniffed dramatically, sobbing theatrically. "_Cybil, no!_" One brow quirked and she grinned at my look. "You'll see, and I expect some fucking tears, ya hear!?" I chuckled and she sat up slightly - I could have whimpered at the momentary loss of her presence, but she was just retrieving the remotes for her television and DVD-VCR player.

Very retro. Yet another thing I loved about the Swan siblings. Bella and I had gotten into a rousing debate over Atari and Super Nintendo the last time I came over. She spoke about _Moonwalker_; the video game I thought had been lost to the dregs of time. It's rare you meet a girl that's played as much as her, and is as all out amazing as she is. If I wasn't meant to be with her brother, I would totally fall for her.

Haha... yeah... uhh... Just kidding, right?

_God, I'm pathetic._

When she settled down again, she looped an arm around my waist, pulling me to her and adjusting our positions so our heads were against the pillows leaning against her headboard, and we were watching the television. She was turning it to the menu screen - it had been on the ending credits - and starting it over while I snuggled in closer to her. Perfect chance! I could feel her shift, could feel her eyes on me, but I didn't move my own eyes from the screen. I _swore_ I could feel her smile then, as her arm tightened around me, pulling me just that fraction of an inch closer to her. I loved it and immediately melted against her; I felt her body relax in response and I was half asleep now as is. After the high, the giggles, the good food, I felt happy and sleepy and she was _so_ comfortable.

It wasn't fair. Because this movie was bound to be even _more_ amazing than the sequel, and the franchise was so madly delicious to begin with - what can I say? I squeal for Pyramid Head! - but she was just... _so comfortable_. I could feel my eyes dropping down, and my body was already relaxed into hers; and she was even warmer now that I was settled against her, it was just becoming increasingly apparent to me that there was no way I would survive through this movie, _awake._ It felt too good to have her holding me against her.

Really, I blame her. Maybe if she weren't so soft, or so warm, or didn't smell so nice or feel so good, maybe I wouldn't be doing this. Maybe if she weren't so maddeningly charming I would have just kept this friendly, instead of getting _friendly_ with her. Maybe if she weren't _gay._..! I winced at that last thought, thinking, then, about Emmett. I didn't hate him for being gay; I couldn't. He was big brother and the fact that he was the one the that helped me go shopping for all my designer clothing - which he had an eye for and insisted I should too, ever since we were young - only made me love him all the more. I was being unfair, because I didn't know what I wanted-

Or, maybe that's wrong. I know what I want. I just also know that I can't possibly have it. Because she isn't mine and I'm dating her younger brother and this is _wrong._ Everything about this, and me being with her, it's _wrong_, and the fact that I'm here right now is very much a bad thing. I should know better than to encourage something so inappropriate. I _know_ better than to encourage it, but my body just _reacts_ around her; like my actions, my need of her, like its all normal, like its instinct. Like I was meant for her and she for me. _After all, _I mused to myself, _we fit together so well..._

I flushed, biting my lip until it hurt, managing to focus my eyes on the screen. I blinked slowly, frowning slightly as my gaze came to rest on a woman. Her voice was... _really_ familiar, and her face - what I could see of it - seemed familiar as well; but I couldn't place the face, or the voice. And it was _bothering_ me, because I _knew_ I knew this actress. But... _what_ had I seen her in? And why was it bothering me so damn badly?! _Maybe because I'm high , which I haven't been in almost three years now,_ _and trying to distract myself from the fact that I'm pressed intimately - and quite comfortably - against one Bella Swan? _Shhhh, mind. I'm _workin' _here, thank you!

"Okay, I'm trying so hard to not freak; who the hell is that cop?" I glanced up at Bella to find her grinning this Cheshire cat grin. _Goodness_, it could steal your breath away. She really _was_ the older, gay female version of Edward; a smile that charming had to run in their blood, because I'd seen it on Edward so many times, and had fallen for it so easily. _They are a force to be reckoned with for sure._

"That's Cybil," '_Cybil, no!'_ Cybil? That one she was crying about? She's... seriously familiar and this is getting to me!

"Yeah, alright, but who is she?"

"I can't just _tell _you! That's cheating," And she was just as stubbornly annoying as Edward was, too. I wonder if this is a family thing, or if it's just something he got from her.

"Not when I ask for it, then it's fair game," Her smile twitched, before swallowed suddenly and I had just a second to ponder _what_ she had been thinking about, before I felt a blush answering me. _Oh-kaaay._ Just gonna block this moment from my memory... And done, never happened, movie, watch, me, now. Cavewoman, regression, urgh.

This is why I got sober, I'm way paranoid and I think too much whenever I do stupid things. And yes, this was a very stupid thing I was doing, _had_ done. Even if it was actually totally fun and I didn't yet regret doing it - and that was probably the strangest part about this whole debacle - it was still very stupid of me; and I was doing even stupider things because of it. Is stupider a word? It sounds like 'stupid' and 'spider' combined. Which is kind-of awesome, because I hate spiders. And I'm a genius, stupider, that's a good one! I'll have to remember this later...

What was I freaking about? _Gee, sometimes I'm so forgetful._ Mmmm... Bella's_ so_ warm. I could hold onto her forever, I hope this movie is long - and maybe I can feign fear so that I can get her to hold me tighter! But she probably wouldn't believe me, after we'd already discussed our favorite gratuitous gore movies this past hour. You know Edward didn't even like horror movies, he just watched them to put up with his sister, and me, now that we were dating. It was a point that Bella and I both agreed on: very uncool of him. She promised me she'd tease him for it later. And _holy SHIT!_

"Oh my god..." I gasped.

"I know," I knew she was grinning, but I couldn't even draw my eyes from the screen.

"_Oh my GOD!_"

"I told you I couldn't tell you; it was something you needed to see for yourself," She was totally fucking right... Because, umm, wow.

"Holy shit, it's _Andrea_," I finally gasped out.

"I knew you'd know, but you can't possibly know how pleased I am to hear you say that; but hell, I figured you'd mention The Mist, still," Dear lord, Edward's sister is so amazing. It _almost_ makes me regret having met him first, almost, but not quite. I smiled up at her, shaking my head slightly.

"Really, what'd you expect? You should know that I forced Edward to watch this past episode with me," Bella grinned wickedly, and I had to chuckle.

"He hated every second of it?"

"You know he did." And I loved every second of his annoyed, exasperated grumbles, in such an odd way, almost as much as I was loving every second of this. Almost... but not quite. I tore my gaze from hers quickly, mentally shaking myself of the moment, and of the strange, totally inappropriate thought. I had all the more reason to pay attention to this now, and that would keep me from getting too caught up in Bella and all her Bella-ness. And how attractive that shouldn't be to me.

* * *

**Oh Alice, just give it up! You so sirry. Tee hee, alright, so don't flame - if you consider it, take a moment to also consider this: fuck you. ALRIGHTY, so if ya wanna review, you do you, I'ma do me and go finish this bowl and go to bed. NIGHT ALL! All my loves... I give to you... and please be forgiving of mistakes. THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE NIGHT... or day... WHATEVER!**


	7. Pride

**Guess who put on pants today...?! THAT'S RIGHT, I DID! And just in time to answer the front door. Someone came a-knockin' as I was staring at the pair of pants in my hands, wondering "hmm, maybe I'll just go half naked?" The front door is half-glass, so that decided it for me. AND I FINALLY STARTED WORKING OUT AGAIN AND IT'S GLORIOUS! But... it's not helping at all. I still have way too much furious punch-someone-in-the-face energy. **

* * *

So I do believe I've yet to give the grand tour of my personal dwelling space, yeah? Pardon my rudeness, I'll rectify that mistake now. It's got a kitchen with a few shiny, new appliances, dark wood paneling. Tres chic. A living room with an impressive entertainment system, as well as that totally fucking rockin' collection of games, game systems, and movies - if I do say so myself (and I totally just did, so...) - plus my BMFFF (best mother fucking friend forever), couchy. He's older than I am, and he's always been there for me, and I just... I fucking love that couch. ANYway, so then there's Edward's room, the hall bathroom,_ my _bathroom, and finally, my bedroom.

I do hope this virtual tour has been satisfactory, and I thank you for stopping by, but before you leave I would like to direct your attention to my bedroom. Particularly, to the spot on the wall behind my bed; you may notice the splatters of brain matter and bits of skull. And before you ask, why yes, yes indeed that is from when Alice blew my fucking mind with that furious attack upon my mouth with her lips. Thank you, thank you; but please, cheer louder. You see, I've been sort-of screaming my joy to the world every chance I get, so I've gone partially deaf because, in case you weren't aware of this fact: ALICE MADE OUT WITH ME!

And I've just been listening to songs about love and shit, screaming the lyrics at the top of my lungs. I've had five noise complaints from neighbors in the past hour alone; I'm kind of starting to impress myself, actually - I'm a good-ass singer. I can fuckin' wail, man! AND ALICE MADE OUT WITH ME.

It's kind of like I gave birth, to Jesus, who is black and a ninja, but is also Dumbledore, and he just made Satan his bitch while riding atop a flaming, white tiger that spits lightning and shits awesome. And then Joan Jett stepped in the room, proposed to me with Hearts' "All I Want to Do Is Make Love to You", and then Morgan Freeman stepped down from the heavens to give a medal of supreme sexiness. And _then_, I became the Master of Time, saved Hyrule and rescued Peach - and _Daisy_ - while dressed as Batman, but using my telekinesis. And...

ALICE MADE OUT WITH ME!

You know, in case I hadn't said so already. Or in case you didn't know. Oh, don't you know? This milestone is my P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney; so forgive me if I just sort-of keep talking about HOW FUCKING DELICIOUS HER MOUTH IS. God, like rose petals, those lips; soft and sweet and I could just devour her whole. I want to. Shiiit, I could show her a few things, some things that Edward can't with his peen. I've never been curious enough to ask after my brother's sexcapades, past the usual "so, you fucked 'er, right?", because, umm, no. I used to be 'straight', and I air quote that only because at that time, I didn't know what 'gay' was, or what it meant.

That was when I first met Jacob Black; my original BMFFF - and he was so perfect at the time that he came. I was shy and confused about myself and the world, and he came, all smiles and pot and bisexuality. He claimed he was bi, but I could tell he had a definite preference for the D, I seemed to be a startling exception, because he fucking wanted me and told me as such quite crudely. Of course, this was the start of our friendship and we only got closer over time. He helped me understand myself, and he was just so great. At one time, he was simultaneously like my big brother, big sister, best friend, and almost-lover.

Still, even straight, penis just... I dunno, I _did _actually try it, but it just isn't for me, yeah? It's so... weird. It's not even attractive looking. Like, the words 'huge cock' kind of make me wince, cuz, errmmm... no, just no. Bleh. ANYway, back to the matter at hand... wait, what was I talking about again? Oh yes, all the dirty, degrading things I would do to the goddess if ever she gave me consent; oh, and look at that, _Lover _just came on. Irony is just as delicious as Alice's sweet mouth, it would seem... BAHAHAHAH, just kidding; nothing is _that _sweet, but for Alice herself, of course.

"HEY EDWARD!" I paused the music blasting through the speakers, and although my ears were still ringing from the too-loud volume for my too-close proximity, I knew his sigh of relief had to be exaggerated and dramatic. I can sense it... also, he's my little brother; if nothing else, I've taught him the importance of a flare for the more dramatic side of life.

"What do you want, suck-ass?" he called back, sticking his head out from his room. He'd hidden away like a scared hermit once I'd started dancing and prancing around in nothing but my black tank and plaid boxers. He was still too utterly terrified and shocked by my strangeness to bother asking _why_ I was dancing, prancing, and singing. Which was probably a good thing, considering I might just reveal the secret in my joyous.

"Just for that..." I started playing my music, louder. _Would You Say Thank You If I Spank You?_ was on and that song made him uncomfortable. Pansy; seriously, how did he get any ass when he was SO unadventurous bed? But I soon paused it once more, because I did actually have a purpose. "Anyway, so Ed... is Alice coming to visit today?" He peeked back out of his room, eyes narrowed suspiciously. I _did _seriously consider turning it to the dirtiest song I could think of - in which a woman has an orgasm halfway through the song... it's as awesome as it sounds, makes him light up this hilarious red shade you've never seen before on anyone - but decided against it. Only if for now. Later, though, later...

I mean, he _did _insult my singing, which I will be the first to admit is probably God awful when I'm just sort of sing-screaming, but as my little brother, his job is to revere me and make me feel better about myself. He broke the first rule of older siblings: _I _shall always insult _him_ first, see. There's no two ways about it, yeah? Yeah. Perfectly logical, glad we had this rousing discussion. I rather like that term, _rousing;_ makes me think of sweet, sweet goddess lips. Mmmmm, lips. What was that line from Regina Spektor's song...?

Something about deciding to kiss everywhere but the mouth... Really, I couldn't have stopped this practically maniacal grin if I'd wanted to; because I can just see that pretty blush on Alice's face when I ask her where she wants me to kiss her next. And she's so pretty-red, her hands are shaking as she lifts up the skirt of her yellow sundress that makes her look so edible and innocent. She stutters when she says, _'Down there...' _and I oblige with a happy grin. She's not wearing panties and-

_THUMP._

...

...

...

Okay, I know that bitch did NOT just throw a pillow at me. So I'm... I'ma disregard the pillow at my feet, but glare at him anyway, just so that we can be clear that he'll keep his bits safe and attached by choosing to not laugh at the fact that I didn't dodge that magical flying pillow that he will not own up to throwing if he knows what's good for him. I'm just going to think about the fact that ALICE MADE OUT WITH ME, and, ahhh, I feel better already.

"Umm... sorry, but you were making really weird faces and groaning and it was... really fucking weird, B," He spoke like I was some crazed animal about to rip his face off, hands raised in a placating manner as he carefully, cautiously stepped fully into the room.

"Like your mom," I grinned back at him as he sighed - it was a cross between soul suffering and relieved; because I wasn't going to kill him, but I _was _going to throw ridiculous insults at him. And by ridiculous, I do of course mean epically classic.

"We have the same mother, dumb ass." I was still grinning as I stepped closer, unable to school my features for even a moment as I looked him up and down for a long few seconds.

"You sure 'bout that? 'Cause, uhh... _pretty _sure you're adopted... Hmm, no; no I'm certain you're adopted, so yeah, fuck you." He matched my grin perfectly, though and, _sniff, sob, _I'm sorry, I just... I get so emotional, because I'm just so fucking proud of him! He learned from me so well, my little protege.

"Suck me," He said it in such a sugary sweet way that I couldn't help but laugh. He grinned wider stepping back just enough to bow to a nonexistent audience. "Thank you, thank you."

"Such a good boy... But seriously, is my playmate coming for a play date, or what? 'Cause I'm a busy woman and I need to be made aware of any changes I might need to make to my schedule, preferably in advance."

"Busy turning tricks, eh?" Just... so fucking proud of him. In case you don't notice, I express love for my brother dear most commonly through a methodology of insultation. And before you ask, yes, yes I did make that word up. You're welcome, English language. Anyway, the day he finally held his own against me was the proudest day of my life, and since then I delight in any chance I can get to fully express my undying love for him. He's such a dear, sweet boy when he wants to be.

"Nah, just pimping your granny. She's a dirty ol' gal, she is," He laughed, despite the disgusted expression twisting his features. Hah! Win! "But seriously, answer the damn question." He cocked one brow, regarding me curiously, head tilted and everything. I laugh in the face of his intense scrutiny - hah, and a double HAHAH; I revealed nothing, but for my increasing annoyance. If I'm going to be a double crossing, home wrecking, backstabbing, trifling hoe of a sister, I might as well go about it in a fair and proper sense and not blatantly act as though I totally want her naked and dripping for me.

... Something about that last sentence makes me feel like a bad person...

"You seem really interested in Alice, considering she's_ my_ girlfriend." Oh yeah! I feel bad because I'm most definitely a bad person for wanting to do this to my brother. Actually, I'm the worst kind of person! Hah, funny how that sorta shit works out, yeah? Ahhh... good times, gooood times. Good news is, I've known I was going to hell for a long time - God doesn't really like lesbians, as far as I've been led to believe, sooo..._  
_

"She actually _wants _to watch horror movies with me... and you think I'm going to NOT practically salivate at the chance to monopolize her!?" I sounded perfectly incredulous. And... damn I'm good; go me! I'm mentally patting myself on the back, and excuse me while I curse the day I didn't pursue acting as a career choice - I'm seriously good at pretending to not be a terrible person. I feel proud of myself in the worst way. He chuckled, suspicions disappearing in the wake of his _trusting_ grin. Wow, he really, really trusts me. I'm touched; no really, I am.

It's too bad I don't have a conscience.

"Okay, good point, but leave some for me, would ya!" He playfully punched my shoulder, and I laughed.

"Yeah, yeah," But actually no. "So she's gonna visit, right?" Is it just me, or do I sound like a totally overjoyed child...? Meh, I'm probably just over thinking things, when I COULD be focusing on the knock at the front door.

"Actually," Ed was grinning widely, and my heart was just a-poundin'. "She's here." Oh Edward, sometimes I really love you.

* * *

**I... can't think of anything else, so ta-da. So I can see the future, right? I predict, by tomorrow... 7-ish in the morning...err, today... whatever, my mouth will be bloody... or swollen. And by the time I finished this, I'd long since cast off my pants. In case you were wondering. SO, forgive mistakes, much love, I won't bother asking for reviews, but I do so dearly hope y'all have a good day. :***


	8. Dress

**I never truly realized how alike my Bella and I are, until my sister rudely interrupted my napping for the eighth time within two days... she then proceeded to complain about my naps, as though they offended her. T_T**

**Anyway, forgive mistakes, won't you, my darlings? Please and thank you!**

* * *

Alice is gorgeous. Too good to be true, but too real to be fake. Mind blowing, heart stopping, breath catching gorgeous. Cute in this soft, subtle way that utterly captivated you; you hardly realized you were staring, and could just barely manage to pull your gaze away once you did. You could all too easily get caught up in the depths of her ocean-eyes, and then find your eyes following the delicate curve of a cheek, to where it becomes her jaw which slides down into her chin and her lips draw you in - and before you realize it, you've been staring at her for five minutes, none the wiser to her charms. It's like every piece of her is perfect, and when you put them all together the mind short circuits and you _have _to allow yourself time to break her beauty down into all those separate components just to properly admire each, as is _quite _necessary.

So she's stunning, I'm drooling, I want and/or need her, and my heart runs a fucking marathon backwards while doing flips whenever she's near - all of this fact; I get it, I'm used to it, whatevs. Except not. I should be used to her looks, because _surely _I've braved them enough to make myself quite immune to her goddess-appeal. Except not. Really, she was already so damned attractive, there was absolutely nothing she or any other being in this world could have done to turn my brain to mush as effectively as her first appearance did. Except... So... totally fucking _not. _

I am a lesbian because, um, HELLO! Women are fantastic; soft and sweet and spicy, simple and kind and cruel, shy and seductive and sly. The complexities are numerous, but somehow it's a puzzle, a delicious mystery I'm dying to know all the answers to; basically I'm drawn in by every aspect, good or bad. It's fascinating, everything that goes into it, them, _us, _but something that's always really impressed me was how _easy _it is for a woman to be attractive. And how sadly that so many go wholly overboard. It's all in the subtleties, because too much effort and it's all for naught, ironically enough. But I'm not really making sense, so allow me the chance to properly explain...

Alice was in a dress. And she was already _so _fucking amazing, I'd come to the earlier conclusion that she'd plateaued and I could give myself a moment to sit back and bask in the almost-overload of appeal. But that was before I'd seen her in that _little _dress, wearing ridiculous heels that made her legs miles long, and the barest amount of makeup - smokey eyeshadow and brilliant red lipstick. She looked like a porcelain doll. It was the only time in my life I'd ever relished in the burn of the doll's eyes following my every move. I'll admit fully and shamelessly that I was flushed and nearly panting with arousal. _And her clothes were still ON. _

Mmm, but not for much longer... _NO; bad Bella, bad! _ I swallowed thickly, biting my tongue until I tasted blood, hoping the pain would distract me from those thoughts... it wasn't working... and that had never made me happier.

"Wow, babe, you look great!" Oh my God... I fucking hate Edward. But God damn, do I respect the hell out of him. He's all smiles, but he's completely calm. Which I also felt irrationally angry about; was he _BLIND _or was he just exceptionally rude and simultaneously thick? 'Great' hardly did her justice! She was a vision, a dream, a... a... She is a goddess, plain and simple. She is beyond comprehension and description, forgive my weak attempts to properly convey her fine features; but such joy I feel from gazing upon her must be shared!

Sooo... am I the only person that's ever actually had a hallelujah-angels-singing-shining-light moment? Sorta like that. That's how I feel right about now; except there's only one angel, but she also happens to be my goddess and the devil of my shameless heart all at once. Somehow, that's even better. And when she flushes like this, it's too easy to forget that it isn't for me - despite that; she's gazing at Edward, and yet, strangely, I feel as though the whole of her attention is focused on me...

For the win, oooh yes! Ahem, pardon me, I've really_ no _idea where that's coming from... it is only at this time that I may inform you of my realization that not only is Alice hotter then Satan's cum, but Edward's also rather sharply dressed as well. And it is at _this _time that I realize it's because they've got a hot date. And it is in this moment that I feel a fury of untold proportions burning through my veins. All because-

"Oh yeah; sorry Bells, I forgot to tell you Alice and I were going out tonight..." He chuckled, smiling sheepishly at me, as if that would somehow excuse the fact that he disregarded the only sacred sibling rule - or, well, one of them - we had left. "We'll have to reschedule that play date, eh?" Alice cast a confused look over at Edward dear, and in some part of my brain I was marveling over the fact that Alice looked so incredibly edible while confuzzled, while also overriding the urge to drool once her and, thus, forget about the dear little shit head. Who would've known that anger was the cure to my almost overwhelming love sickness?

Well, more of a temporary cure than anything, but that's beside the point! Because I'm angry, at Edward, and he's a traitorous man-whore, so I have to get him back for this later. I'll do it when he's least suspecting it... and, oooh, I've got a _good _idea and he's really gonna regret this. All of this scheming took place within the time it took him to chuckle, and then lean over to peck Alice on the cheek, and straighten back up to aim a wide smile my way. So I offered up the same - though mine was more for show - and chuckled lowly. Seriously, I'm amazing at acting!

"Quite right, quite right," I intoned, nodding sagely. "Some other time, then?" He nodded once, still smiling, and I turned my attention next to Alice. "Until next time, dear?" She still looks so positively eyegasmic, so it was hard trying to resist the urge to throw her up against the wall and ravish her properly, but I managed to reign in my more inappropriate appetites. Instead, I took one of her hands, bringing it to my lips and blowing a kiss over her knuckles, winking as I drew away. "You look absolutely enchanting." Ahh, and there's that sweet, sweet blush I love to see; and it really is all for me. Oh shit, I'm rhyming like a g; that makes three, four, more! Hah! Win.

"And you look homeless; go put some damn pants on!" Hmm? Oh, hey! Would ya look at that; the boy's right. So maybe _that's _why Alice has been trying so hard to avoid looking at me... I'm almost offended, I mean, I have great legs - just sayin' - so why should one not appreciate them!? I'm sorry if that sounds selfish (no I'm not), but my legs are a point of pride for me.

"Yeah, you're leaving, so I don't care," See, what I was _really _thinking was fuck you, but for the sake of being well and proper in front of Alice when she's standing in front of Edward, I held back that particular favored phrase. See that there, me censoring myself, that's special; I won't do that for just anyone. Usually just children and grandmothers... although, Alice _does _just so happen to be childishly short. I'm actually pretty sure she's actually only 4'10, 4'11 maybe. It's... strangely irresistible, she's so delicate and I just wanna... mmm, well anyway... uh, pants right?

I think so, at least, so I'll just go ahead and go lounge around in my boxers...

"Oh, ummm, Bella?" Yes, my sweet, sweet darling fallen angel?... Coolio, I didn't say that out loud! That realization drove my grin from charming and turned it more brilliantly bright, which made her blush as I turned back to give her my full attention. Seriously, I'm rockin' it today! I am Jesus, for I can do no wrong! Oh, was that offensive? And, oh look, I don't care. "Thank you." I took just a moment to wonder to what she was referring, but it came to me in a moment and I grinned.

"The truth is thankless, darling," Those flushed cheeks of hers will be my end, I'm almost certain of that. And what a sweet end it shall undoubtedly be. I turned from them once more, flicking my hand up above my shoulder in a half-assed wave as I made my way towards anywhere-that-isn't-near-the-couple. In some odd way, I feel like Edward is stealing _my _date, right out from under my nose. She isn't mine, hasn't been mine from the very beginning, and yet I feel as though she is, always has been; it's a wonderfully frustrating feeling, this unrighteous anger. In the logical part of my brain, I realize I'm overreacting and being seriously scummy about this whole affair - no pun intended, but it's kind-of funny anyway so feel free to laugh -, but then my old blood pumper points out the fact that Alice was clearly meant for me. But my logical brain argues back that I'm trying to justify being a home wrecker.

And eventually I realize I'm mentally debating with myself and losing on _both _sides of the issue. Then I wonder what got me to this point of mental instability, I remember kissing Alice, and the whole process starts over. This has happened a lot within the past 24 hours, and I've yet to decide whether it's worth it to pursue Alice or not. Because the other part of my warring heart and mind is the Edward factor: even if I'm unjustly cross with him for dating her, even if I feel unjustifiably justified in my anger because Alice was almost certainly made for me and I for her, can I really do that to him? For all my complaints, bullying, teasing, and general older-sibling-torture-of-the-younger-generation tomfoolery, I really do love the hell out of Edward. So at the end of the day it's not a question of my and Alice's compatibility vs the fact that she's taken and supposedly straight, but more one of my willingness to potentially fuck up my relationship with Edward.

And I know what you're thinking: that annoying ass-hat deserves it because of blah, blah, blah. Or-or maybe: he's your brother, this is the love of your life, it'll be all Alice and Pad Thai - and before you ask, this is the new-and-improved version of 'peaches and cream' - eventually! But the thing is, if I were to have Alice, finally, officially claim her as _mine, _but lose my brother and the respect of my family in return... I just can't be sure it's really worth it. And yeah, Alice would be mine, yada yada yada, but for what I would lose...

Yeah, totally worth it. Because she'd be mine, and I could just sorta integrate myself into her family, so... yeah... Mmm, that's fun to say, pleasing to the ears and tongue, _mine. _Oooh, makes me shiver; wonder if it would make Alice shiver... I bet I know a few things that could...

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**I wanted to make this longer and simultaneously shorter, but it just wants to not be written any more or less, so here I am. I feel I should explain myself, and mostly this story. The way we think, while we're all different and special in our own thought patterns, are similar in that our thoughts carry on and jump erratically from one tangent to the next, we take our time or skim or just fly into random parties of craziness.**

**this is that, or my very best attempt at it; basically I'm trying to write out thoughts as they come to me, So if it's confuzzling, i do apologize, but we aren't exactly a simple species. Next chapter will be from Alice again. She's surprisingly fun to write; she's a bit more appropriate and it's entertaining to write her struggle to focus on her love for Edward in order to override her attraction to Bella. Oh the straight-days... good times, good times...**


	9. Terrible

**Howdy; why doesn't everyone say y'all? I mean, it's such a great term. I don't use it because I'm southern or illiterate or somethin' like that, it's just faster than "How art thou, you all" and grates on the nerves less than "yous guys" *shudders* I'm sorry, it kills me just typing it out. ANYway, here's this shit, read it or don't, but don't flame.**

**Or I'll fucking GET you. Love y'all, till the end, yes? ;)**

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Holy mother of Moses.

_Gulp._

I've mentioned how distractingly attractive Bella is, right? Maybe just once or twice? You should see her half dressed, eyes bright with joy and a grin-smirk - it wasn't quite one or the other before she let her eyes (and jaw) drop down, taking me in when she answered the door - adorning those rosy lips of hers. Cheeks just lightly flushed and hair slightly disheveled and _uuuung. _How does she look so damn dot dot dot (I refuse to describe on the grounds I was raised a good Christian girl and I already pushed the limits with that kiss) without even trying!? And yet, she stares at me like _I'm _the one turning heads when I go out.

_Uhh... you DO turn heads when you go out._

Shhh brain, I'm busy thinking about BELLA right now, not me. Besides, she stares like I turn heads, and turn gay men straight and straight women gay; she stares like a blind man seeing colors, like she's been lost in the desert and I'm a tall drink of water. She stares like, like...

_She stares like you want her to stare; like you're all that matters and she wants to devour- _

Shut UP brain! You aren't helping me in any way, and I really need to focus in order to ignore that Bella is half-naked and eye-fucking me up against the wall. And it's hard and fast and furious and- OKAY, I'm going to pretend I didn't just almost start salivating over that look-induced fantasy and get back to the matter at hand: Bella in tight boxers and a tank top that should be illegal for how good she looks in it. No wait, Bella's magnetic stare should be illegal. And her too-kissable lips. And that gorgeous, thick, silk-soft hair of hers.

Maybe my brain should be illegal, all it does is point out uncomfortable truths and remind me that I'm entirely too interested in these truths. That should NOT be allowed; it should be struck from existence and human possibility. It should crawl in a hole and die.

_Or... it could remind you that Bella is still performing salacious acts upon you with her eyes at this very moment._

Oh, uh... right. I looked back at her, because I'd somehow averted my eyes - obviously because I was... uh, looking for Edward! yeah... yeah that's sounding about right... - and found her gaze still burning, but now her cheeks were heavily flushed and she was breathing sort-of hard, almost panting. I was almost worried, but somehow I knew this reaction was for me; maybe I could instinctively tell, maybe I could tell by the way her eyes burned into my skin until they had set my soul (and cheeks) ablaze, I'm still not quite sure. I just knew it was me that made her quite mute. It was flattering, in the strangest way, so I chalked up my flush and sudden barrage of nervous butterflies to the fact that... uhh, ummm..._  
_

Gimme a sec... ahh, I chalked them up to... the fact that... I was worried Edward might not react the same!... Or, he would react badly- Okay, give me fucking break, I'm _tryin' _here; not necessarily succeeding, but trying. A for effort and all that jazz, right?... Alright, so I'm pathetic; at least the lesbian thinks I look perfectly presentable, so there! And that's really the only opinion I cared to have in the first place, so I-

_Gulp indeed..._

I... I didn't just think that. Wh-what I REALLY meant to think was... uhh, she's the only _lesbian _whose opinion I cared to have, because of her taste in women and closeness to Edward, so as to be the best person to judge how effectively my outfit compliments me, and therefore judge how much Edward might appreciate it on me. I'm wincing on the inside, but let it be said and well known that I _can _have brilliant moments of blatantly lying to myself. Because yes, I _do_ realize how terribly I'm lying all over my own mind - and where is my poor mind? Lost within those milk chocolate depths, gurgling like a happy babe because I do so adore chocolate.

_And you adore staring into her eyes and letting her eat you up._

Mm, nope; as it appears, while my eyes may be in my head, but lost in her own eyes, my mind is actually lost in hell and making a valiant attempt to drag me down with it. But my twitching fingers - itching to twist in Bella's luscious locks and pull her to me - and wanting lips didn't listen to my devilish mind. For some reason, in this moment, as Bella struggled to speak, my mind drifted to something I'd heard from the friend of a mother; I don't know why it comes to mind, or even the woman's name who said it, but I can remember the words as if they'd been spoken yesterday...

It was some time ago, this phrase-utterance, years ago. Homosexuality had come up and sometime within the conversation she'd mentioned her views on it. Everyone has thoughts about it, she'd said, it was natural and really couldn't be helped, what are we if not a curious creature, human kind? She'd chuckled and continued, but it's in acting on those thoughts that it becomes something wrong, something homosexual. The conversation had been interesting, more of a debate really; up until I realized it had become something religious and there was to be no end in sight.

Despite being religious myself, I wholly supported homosexuality. It's not like I couldn't, what with my brother and all. But I thought of those words now and they were oddly comforting. I could think of her in that way and it would be alright, because unless I acted on these thoughts and impulses, I wasn't doing anything wrong. It was_ natural, _it was just me being _human, _just me being _curious. _And the persistent thought plaguing my mind, reminding me that I already _had _acted on my thoughts and impulses, was soundly ignored.

"Wow, babe," I was brought from my musings and still obsessive thoughts of the ever beautiful Bella by Edward's charming smile. I'd never been happier to see him, and he was exactly the distraction I needed to pull my eyes from Bella's. "You look great!" Don't I know it; Bella's been ravishing me with her eyes. I wish she would... ugh, stupid thoughts... I'm going to die from blush, at this rate. And that is such a lame way to go; excuse my strange thoughts, but I'd always wanted to go out in some hugely ridiculous blaze of glory, and... well, this simply wouldn't do.

"Thank you," I mumbled quietly, keeping my eyes on his face and my small smile plastered on my own face. I didn't even want to acknowledge her, for fear I shouldn't find the strength to look away. I could feel her eyes on me still, could imagine her smirk. She can see through me almost as easily as I can see through her; and I feel sick with myself, knowing from Edward's gentle, doting smile that he's blind to either of us. Dear Lord, what am I doing, what am I thinking - Edward has been the best boyfriend I've ever had, kind and sweet and he knew me so well already he could practically read my mind; and I'm daring to jeopardize that relationship for some _minor _attraction to his SISTER?!

_MINOR!? Right, okay, sure, whatever helps you sleep better at night...which will be impossible anyway, considering the star of your dreams..._

I could only be so happy that the Swan siblings were too busy talking - with a tight-lipped smile on Bella's part, which I only noticed because... well, I was staring at her lips, okay!? - so as to not take notice of the blush I was fighting down. "We'll have to reschedule that play date, eh?" What the- are there children involved here? Bella was smirking slightly as her eyes found mine; I looked away, up at Edward as he chuckled, leaning over to kiss my cheek.

"Quite right, quite right; some other time then?" Edward stepped closer to me, putting an arm around my shoulders as he grinned and nodded at Bella, just as she turned her eyes to me. They glittered with some odd emotion that had my cooled cheeks beginning to warm. "Until next time, dear?" She's so... I dunno, dramatically proper? Yeah, that works, she's that, and for some reason I really love it. For instance, now she's taking my hand, kissing my knuckles like some old proper gent, but looking up through her lashes like she wants to kiss me underneath the dress, and winking playfully as she unwillingly drew away. "You look absolutely _enchanting._"

It was really such a simple thing to say, but it made my heart skip a beat to hear it. And of course, my cheeks just _had _to go all thermonuclear on me; because the day couldn't be complete without me getting embarrassed by every little thing that Bella ever said. I don't know, maybe I'm sick or something - _sick in the head, maybe _- but I simply CANNOT control my cheeks around her. And let me tell you, I've sat through HORRID things without a blush tormenting me; extremely _sparkly _brother, plus the fact he's got absolutely NO shame, can lead to... terrible, terrible things you walk in on... and hear... they're just bad memories, I'm going to get back to the point now. There was honestly no reason for me to blush.

And the very fact Edward's smiling all charmingly, and it should be making me melt and it's hardly warming me up, that isn't right either! I should be reacting to him, flushing and blushing because of him, dreaming of _him. _But... I'm not. And as easy as it is to say that - it's just two little words, practically meaningless in the grand scheme of the English language - it's very nearly painful to admit. This isn't me, it is _not _how I am. I've never been _that _girl; fair-weather friend, cheating hearts, cheating in general, none of that is me. I've never wanted to be that girl, either, because, uhh, who _would?!_

Plus, I've known people, more shameless than Satan, that act like that, _are _that way, and I've never particularly liked them. In general, they're unpleasant; I'm going to wager a guess that, as a general rule, shameless cheating bitches are required to be unpleasant, or maybe coincidence is screwing fate, and the unpleasant quality of all of those unmentionables was the resulting love child. I don't know, I can't tell you, this is all guess work, my point being that I'm becoming... _that. _The one thing I just can't hardly stand, and I'm... I'm on a date, and I don't care to listen to a damn thing my partner is saying. I don't even care that I'm _on _this date! And that... it's not good. It's not even wrong or bad.

"It's terrible."

"Oh really?" Edward was smirking at me, one brow cocked and green eyes lit by amusement. Crap, I said that out loud. I figured he hadn't heard me... "Because just yesterday, you swore up and down that Italian food was your favorite..."

"Oh, no! I-I love Italian! I just..."

"Yeah, you can be pretty airheaded..."

"Hey!" I turned to slap his arm, but he was smiling and chuckling, so I knew he wasn't being entirely serious. I slapped him anyway. "Maybe you're just losing touch with your charm..."

"Are you trying to call me boring?" He gasped in false astonishment. I was biting the inside of my cheek to keep a perfectly straight face. I didn't answer him immediately, waiting patiently for him to attempt to get my attention. "Oh? Trying to ignore me, eh! Fine, I see how it is, Alice! You're besties with my sister, but you just _hate _me soooo much-"

"Are you still talking?" I interrupted after he'd carried on for a bit, still fighting to keep a straight face. "I'm sorry, you're so bland I just kind of block you out..." I rolled my eyes over, giving him this dead stare. But I could feel my lips twitching and I couldn't help myself when he began to laugh. My twitching lips won out, and I was grinning and giggling like I had been when I'd spent the afternoon with Bella. "So, I'm guessing we're going to some grand Italian restaurant?"

"Nope." He was completely serious, or he at least kept a straight face when I glanced at him curiously. But then his face split in a wide, pleased grin. "We're going to a humble, hole-in-the-wall Italian restaurant."

"Sooo... I could have worn jeans?" It's cold, and I'm wearing a dress. I'm only lucky he's such a gentleman and slipped his coat around my shoulders when I was musing over my descent into the madness of this situation. Edward chuckled, and I could understand how this was a sort-of funny thing for me to ask; but I'm being serious, it's COLD. And his coat only helps so much...

"Ah, but then I would have been cheated of this chance to see you in that dress, and that's just unacceptable," Wow... he _is _Bella's brother, no question about that. "And here we are!" He stopped, throwing one hand out dramatically, gesturing towards... So he meant it when he said it was humble, a hole-in-the-wall for sure. It's this little, nondescript brick building that's just... totally underwhelming. "You'll have to thank Bella later..." he told me as he pulled me towards the door. I almost tripped over my own feet, hesitant to let him force me into this... _this. _

"Thank her? For what, exactly?" I try to keep an open mind, look forward, not back, all that stuff... but... I mean, I have my limits to open. And _this _stabbed my limits in the face. It continues to stab my limits in the face, because Edward's not stopping, and I don't want to bitch at him for taking me out; that's just ungrateful.

"She indirectly orchestrated this affair-" The word made me wince. "By introducing me to this place." So Bella's to blame? Good, it gives me something to... thank her for. The place looked MUCH less dirty and little on the inside. Besides that, however, there was only one table set out, two chairs, candles lit and a bottle of wine on the table waiting for us.

"Don't tell me-"

"Yes, it's ours for the evening," He led me towards the table, pulling out the chair for me and slipping around the table to take his seat once he'd made sure I was settled. He began speaking again as he poured the wine into two glasses that I hadn't noticed next to the bottle. "Aro, the owner, _adores _Bella," he told me as he handed over my glass, smiling. I took a sip and silently agreed with the sentiment; how can one _NOT _adore Bella? "So he hardly batted a lash when I asked him a favor."

"It helps to have friends in high places," I added noncommittally, not that Edward noticed. He'd just put on a smile for the waiter that had stepped up to the table. I didn't really pay too much attention to the interactions unfolding as Edward's insincere smile turned sour when speaking to the dark-blonde boy...? He seemed old enough, but he was probably just a little taller than I was, had a baby face, which made him seem more adolescent than adult. Not that I'm much of a pot to call the kettle black. Even if the kettle in question is rousing my boyfriend's temper. Actually, this pot is still thinking about Bella.

Bella. Oh Bella. What are you doing to me? Other than indirectly sending me on fantastic dates...?

"Sorry about that, Alec and his sister hate me, can't miss a chance to pick a fight, even..." I blinked away the thoughts crowding my mind, revolving around Bella and her boxers, focusing back on Edward with a soft smile and a shake of the head.

"Hey, it's fine," I lay a comforting hand over one of his, and he smiled tentatively back. "No problem." No need to mention I was too wrapped up in my own damn thoughts to notice the almost-altercation. But he did look troubled, his eyes sad despite the smile he wore for my sake. "What's wrong?"

"You don't... you don't seem very into this..." He gestured around us, and I flushed hotly. He _had _noticed. I withdrew my hand, putting it in my lap; he couldn't see me nervously twiddle my fingers then. I didn't speak immediately, averting my eyes and searching for the right words. I could practically feel his fear rising, he was probably picturing me ending it - for a moment I pictured the same thing, and then running into Bella's arms for solace - all and leaving him here. Finally, I sighed, shaking my head once again.

"No, it's not you, it's me," I glanced up sharply, realizing too late that I'd chosen the wrong words. "No! No, I don't mean- I'm not breaking up! I'm just... distracted." He looked utterly relieved, and I had to giggle when he even sighed loudly and held a hand over his heart.

"Scared me for a sec..." he muttered, looking away. Oh God, I'm a horrid girlfriend! Terrible. I'm just...

"I'm being a terrible date, utterly... just terrible." Now I sighed, glancing off to the side. More of a glare, actually, because I was feeling frustrated and confused and my eyes were being traitorous and tearing up. Because, oh yeah, crying would make this better.

"Hey, hey! You aren't terrible-" You wouldn't say that if you knew what was on my mind... or rather, _who... _"Not at all! But you've got something heavy on your mind; could I convince you to tell me...?" I bit my lip, wondering for half a moment if maybe... but... no. I smiled appreciatively, but shook my head in the negative.

"No, it's nothing. But it might become a problem if you didn't manage to slip in a request for lasagna during your battle of verbiage..." He laughed, smiling and dropping it like he'd never noticed. And I love him for that; he's kind and caring and knows when to leave well enough alone. _And _he was exceedingly handsome, he wasn't an idiot or a bigot, he was perfect and absolutely lovable. I loved all of that about him, but especially the blind eye he was turning towards my troubles. I did love that, all of those qualities... But I didn't love him. At least, not like I thought I did. Not like... not like how I was beginning to feel for his sister.

I'm a terrible person, and I know I am because I know what will happen if I continue like this... and I'm going to do it anyway. _Oh Bella, you've ruined me... _

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**sarCHRIS2012: everyone's entitled to their opinion, I respect your honesty and the fact you weren't rude in expressing it. I've found fitting dialogue into my tendency to get too mental is difficult, and I can't promise that'll change anytime soon, but I can try.**

**Please forgive mistakes, my battery is on its last legs and I simply haven't the time. So please, feel free to ignore, forgive, or laugh at my mistakes, as I'm sure there's lots. KAY BYE! :***


	10. Legs

**Just a bit of a warning... EXTREMELY distasteful language in this chapter. Seriously. If cursing offends your sensibilities, just turn back now. Because it's bad. I mean, **_**bad.**_** An overly large amount of "fuck", so if you don't find humor in overly large amounts of "fuck", just go, or skip this, you'll probably get it from Alice's POV anyway, because... well, actually, I'll ask: would you guys like/crave the latter half of this chapter from Alice's POV in another chapter?**

**Okay, so forgive mistakes if ya please, ummm don't flame, because I have a very special set of skills... and I will find you... and I will kill you. Not really, but still... and uhhh, OH! Drug use in this chapter, if that offends you... seriously, you got this far already? On another note, THIS IS MY LONGEST CHAPTER OF THIS TO DATE, YEAH!**

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So I work in this old-ish hotel on the other side of town; it was probably built in... I dunno, early sixties, _maybe_. But, yeah, so it's old-_ish_, but it looks nice and well-kept, all polished and that shit. It's got a pool out back - not a hugely huge one, but a pool nonetheless - a nice little exercise room, breakfast area, etcetera, etcetera. Just like most any other hotel, yeah? 'Cept this bitch is haunted. I mean legitly haunted. I mean, if you go in the back room where all the monitors displaying the live feed for the security cameras are and just sit... just... just sit there for a bit... you'll see. Because, late at night when I'm the only one awake and no one is moving, you can hear what sounds like the whole of the occupants of the hotel clearing out, o-or you'll hear loud chatter in the breakfast room.

But the monitors for the security cameras? Yeah, watch those for just a lil' bit and you can see people with hazy, see-through forms walking through the lobby... and then through a wall. Or half-there people stop and stare back at the camera, like they know you are watching wide-eyed and slack-jawed, and they'll wave... and dissipate. Like some kinda fucking mist or some shit. Now, that's not something we like to tell our guests for... obvious reasons; and in all honesty, it isn't terribly obvious other than those late-night occurrences. But the fact remains that this bitch is haunted as a mother fuck. It's cool as shit, to me. I... and this will sound weird, I talk to 'em.

It's not some long, drawn out conversation that I will have with a person that's made of a black/white mist - color varies -, because they aren't usually for showing themselves to the naked eye... or maybe you just can't see them, either way...! But yeah, I'll sit and I'll talk; I do, of course, save this for when I'm alone, because I wouldn't want to appear like I'm some crazy fuck, yeah? Still, I talk because I know they can hear me, and if I died and became a ghost and no one could hear me, or see me, or acknowledge me, I'd be all depressed. I'd poltergeist a bitch, just so I wouldn't feel so hollow and lonely and shit. So I figure I owe it to them, because they aren't harming anyone and, hell, one of 'em actually fucking WAVES.

They're friendly, and they're just people that are lonely and can't get the fuck off of this plane of existence, and that's some serious heaviness to have to deal with every single fucking day for all of eternity. Besides, it helps to pass the time and I'm the only employee with enough spine to brave the darkest corners of the hotel just to converse with the departed. Honestly, in some weirdly unexplainable way... it's comforting to me to talk to them; and seeing as how I work most nights, its sort-of my way to unwind from a long day and what will be a long shift. I've been working here for nearly two years, and Marcus - he's the owner, really introverted dude, but he likes me and that's all that matters - pays me pretty fucking well, which... considering my hours, makes total sense.

I work most nights, I said so, but I work those fucked up night hours that makes the place come alive; not a lot of people can handle the lack of sleep and the mostly ghostly events that occur, but besides that, I'm a _damn_ hard worker and I take pride in my work, so I really don't mind it. And when I'm makin' bank like I do, it's all worth it. But, I must reiterate - word o' the day! - my previous point that I work _fuuud up_ night hours, so when I remembered that I had work tonight, I was dying on the inside. Not because I had to work, but because I didn't have to work for many hours yet and having to walk away with the image of Alice in her little dress, all primped and pretty for _Edward_ to take her on a date, burned into my fucking retinas... seriously, I couldn't handle that.

So it was many hours early, so fucking many, but as soon as I was positive they'd left the apartment, I called up Marcus. Me and him, we're cool for some reason; he's this quiet, reedy man, pale as any of the see-through mother fucks that show up on the security camera monitors, and he doesn't really seem to have much of a humor... but he just loved the shit out of me for no apparent qualifying factor. It's why I was able to get Jacob a job here with little trouble, why I was paid so well and promoted kinda quickly, and why I was one of the few that could call last minute to ask for a change in schedule without him getting all peeved about it. He was quiet, sure, but he was very much verbal about what displeased him.

Which I did not do, so of course he was all too delighted that I wanted to show up a fucking fortune of hours early and still work until my time to peace out and head on back to chez moi. I was lucky, Jake was there and once the sun had descended, and all had been quiet for a few good hours, we went out back to sit by the edge of the pool and smoke. And fuck you kindly if you assume I'm some huge pot smoker; because I'm _not_, but Jacob likes to get me high when we work together and sometimes I just... sometimes I'm just having one of those days where every ounce of fuckery from all corners of Fuckdom decides to fuck a fuck all over me, and I just need something to keep me from _snapping_.

And as much fun as it is to use the word "fuck" in every way that I can in order to alleviate some of that strain, it just doesn't work like it used to. Especially now. Which is why I'm still chilling here with Jacob, sitting back in this plastic chair, staring up at the night sky with a blunt hanging from my lips and Jacob watching me with a knowing smirk. I've probably been talking, saying a lot of things that I shouldn't about someone that I would do better to forget; I get chatty when I'm blazed.

"That-" Jacob had his own blunt lit and paused to puff on it as the burn in my lungs viciously threatened my will to hold in the smoke and _not_ cough. I pulled the blunt from my mouth, waited a moment, and blew out the smoke as our respective blunts traded hands, err, persons... us. We switched blunts. I'd say it was just like any good family smoking circle of years passed, but it was more of a line. Either way, he'd rolled two and we were... well, I was just... hmm, yeah. "Sounds like some serious shit."

"Alliteration," I mumbled around the blunt now pressed to my mouth, inhaling hard and pulling it away as Jacob laughed out smoke and took his own hit. We set them both aside for a moment - in the ashtray we'd snagged from one of the tables off towards the far end of the pool... decking(?), area(?)... yeah, whatever - and I rolled heavy-lidded eyes his way. When you look at him, he does NOT look gay. He's huge and burly and, yeah I'll admit: he's handsome as the tallest drink of water to have ever been drunk. He is THE reason _'tall, dark, and handsome'_ is used as qualifications for fine-as-hellness. And I guess he isn't _actually_ gay; but his bisexuality seems to lean way more towards that sausage stick than it does those delicious tacos I so enjoy.

"Nerd."

"Fuck you."

"When and where," I finally cracked up, trying to muffle the noise with my hand so I wouldn't chance the risk of rousing a patron of this fine, fine establishment we so happily work at. Jake didn't give a fuck, and burst out with that fucking man-bear laugh of his, like a deep maniacal cackle.

"Okay, okay-" I reached over, snatching a blunt and taking a quick hit. "Enough." I croaked out, coughing softly. He grinned at me, taking the offered blunt as I held it out for him. I reached for the other one and just held it in my hand, close enough to my face that I could watch the wispy tendrils of smoke drift lazily up through the air and disappear into nothingness, but not so close that I was choking on the smoke I wasn't inhaling currently. He took a long, slow hit, held it in for - I swear to Liam Neeson - at least a minute. "I don't know what to do..."

"You could always _do _her," he suggested, with another one of those smart-ass grins of his. "You know you want to."

"Yeah, but she's _Ed's_ girl!" I practically yelled, furious for no reason. I quieted my voice, hissing at him, "And _he's_ family; that's fucked up!"

"Mmm, have I ever told you that I would totally just devour your family? Edward's so little I could just... But you; you boo - you're special. I'd take you out to dinner first," Is my eye twitching? "Baby girl, am I pissing you off?"

"Piscine means pool in French," I was glaring at the pool when I spoke, and it was the first thing that came to mind and I just can't fucking help myself. God, blue is a good color - best flavor for most candies and foods an' shit. AND PURPLE. It's androgynous, and it's the royal color. And if I keep letting my thoughts run on random tangents I won't kick the shit out of Jacob. DAVID AND GOLIETH!

"I've lost you..." He murmured, noticing my most-probably vacant-eyed stare at the pool water.

"Never had me," I glanced back at him, grinning myself as we traded blunts and took our respective hits. He sighed out a monstrous cloud of smoke as he leaned his hugeness forward, one elbow planted on the curve of his knee as he held his head up in that hand. He was giving me this sad little look, like I'd kicked his puppy in the jewels, and then stomped on his man meat.

"And I never will, _now._ Thanks to that stupid bitch-"

"Alice is _NOT_ a stupid bitch, you Trail of Tears mother fuck-"

"HEY, hey! Calm thyself, Iago!" Oh, mother fucker, don't _even_ tell me to calm down, because I'm about two seconds away from taking a leg to your fucking neck like I'm some god damned Jedi ninja wizard! "You know that's how _WE_ talk about people-"

"Alice isn't _people_," I spat at him, inhaling furiously and closing my eyes as I tilted my head back and grit my teeth. I waited until the burn in my lungs was from the lack of taking in any sort of air, until my heart was throbbing in my ears and the backs of my eyes, and then I violently coughed out the smoke. It was a moment before I could talk, but it gave him a moment to hurriedly take a drag and set the blunt back in the ashtray, because 'dis bitch was serious, now. "She's the most fantastically graciously gorgeous, sweet, angelic-"

"OKAY, okay, I get it! You're totally head over heels for the bi-" My glare spoke volumes upon volumes about the disgustingly large amounts of pain I would put him through if he dared slander my Goddess with terms that apply to the general populous. Because he interrupted the point I was making that Alice was so far above and beyond that/those people. "Uhh, b-beautiful, uhh, young woman. But she's dating that sweet little morsel of a younger brother of yours, so... what're you gonna do? Woo her away? Wreck up the home? Let this chance slip you by?" I sighed sorrowfully, hunching forward and leaning my elbows against my knees so I could hold my head in my hands and stare at the ground. It was grey and answerless... fucking whore-ass ground, leaving me high and dry when all I need is just one _teensy tiny_ little push in any of those directions.

I'm bad at making decisions, and no matter how many times I keep swearing up and down the street that I don't give a fuck and I'ma do me and just win Alice over despite what might come of it, I always change my mind. Because I think about Ed, and I think about me and Ed, and I think about how guilty I felt after... well, I didn't actually feel guilty about Tanya. She was hot and all, but she was just... just kind-of slutty, but I felt guilty about not feeling guilty. And if feeling guilty because I don't feel guilty about fucking my brother's slutty girlfriend was as uncomfortable as it was, I can't imagine how I'd feel if it was sweet, shy, not-slutty Alice...

"Why are guilty pleasures the best?" I asked, sighing again as I sat up straight and reached blindly for a blunt. Jacob smiled almost-sadly at me, chuckling as I burned my finger on the lit end because I'm just the smartest bitch on the planet and that's how I roll, but only shrugged, glancing pointedly at the blunt I stuck between my lips once more.

"They just are." Hmm... yeah, that seems about right.

* * *

"Hrrmmm... come ooon... you stupid... come on, baby, just-just _open_ for me, and I swear I'll never cuss you out again!" I am, at this very moment in time, speaking to my door. As much of a dump as this place isn't, the outside lock on the door to my apartment is kind-of fucked up - I don't know how or when it happened, but that's just the way things are right now - and sometimes... it just refuses to open. Usually, once I verbally bitch-slap the lock like the truest of pimps, which I am of the inclination to be, it will budge just enough for me to open the door. _Just_ enough, so that the deadbolt is still sticking out, but not quite sticking in the hole... "BAAAHAHAH! That's what she said! God damnit, I crack myself up!" That's probably the fifth 'that's what she said' moment I've had in the last thirty minutes. I'm tellin' ya, I'm _good_...

_GOD!_ FUCK THIS FUCKING FUCKER FUCK FUCKIN', FUCKIN', FUCKIN' _FUCK!_... Pardon me; you see, my deadbolt is a dirty whore that deserves whatever ghoulish hell-hole it ends up in once the world ends. But actually, it's a fucking dirty-ass mother fuck SHIT FUCK YOU! _DAMN _IT! God, why? Is it because I'm a lesbian? Or is it because I'm sacrilegious? Because either way, Mister High - heheheh, high, heheh, like me, bahah - n' Mighty up on thine cloud of nine golden angels up your ass, you're supposed to be forgiving and shit... and this shit is not forgiving. So _I_ don't forgive _you_... so there. Take that... JUST FUCKING OPEN, FOR THE LOVE OF-

"Oh shit... I forgot to unlock the bottom..." Well... never mind all that then. I blame Jacob; he's indirectly responsible for this. That roundabout ass. Getting me too high; I don't even know how I got here! I know I drove, I remember screaming out the lyrics to _What's Going On?_ for all I was worth the whole way home. And, actually, I think it might be called _What's Up?_ but I mean... she never even says that. I know; I've screamed the lyrics hundreds of times, so I just usually choose that _fuck 'dat shit_ option and call it what I want to call it because I'm so HOT LIKE THAT!... A-ahem, pardon me, I seem to have lost control over myself. Excuse me while I search for the fucks I don't give anyway... "... Seriously, how the hell did I get back here?" I grumbled to myself as I finally stepped into the apartment.

It was probably ten degrees cooler, but I'd felt warm to begin with so the blast of Ice Age air made the ladies stand at tippity-top attention. I've no shame in admitting my smallness in the breasticular region - and yes, I do indeed realize that isn't a word; too bad, so sad, deal with it - mostly because I can get away with not wearing a bra, should I choose to accept said mission. Which I do when I'm not going out in public to places where I'll be around a _bunch_ of people. For instance, if I'm just going for a stroll down to Aro's Authentic Italian to have me a quick little bite to eat, I will go bra-less. Also, just a quick head's up, Aro is a master blaster from the fucking future or some shit, because he is _mad_ skilled in the kitchen. His little restaurant is not well known, because it looks like it'd be a shitty place and that is off-putting to most, but it's actually really nice and quant and, holy fuck, is it _delicious_. I'm talking Alice equivalent, sort-of delicious.

_Mmmm, and now I'm craving Italian..._ And... it... smells strangely of Italian food in here. Or am I delusional? Holy hell, what was _in_ that shit Jacob rolled!? I bet, if I can get my fingers to work with enough dexterity to close and lock this door, I can sneak over to the kitchen - and it is oh-so conveniently at the end of the hall! - and search for snacks. I'm hungry enough to eat an obese redneck. Those people are _huge_. I'm afraid that one day, karma will finally catch up to me and all my badness and I'll get sat on by one of them... I'm not even kidding, don't laugh, I'm _really _afraid of that happening to me. _Uuugh, scary..._ Speaking of which, there's a scary light spilling out of the kitchen doorway into the hall right now. It's scary because I'm the only one here other than Ed; and because, _surely_, sleep's-like-the-dead Ed wouldn't be awake at fuck-life-o'-clock in the morning...

_And then again, he's surprised me before..._ Like with Alice. What a delightful, painful, awesomely heart wrenching surprise she w-

...

OH... oh... oh goodness. Oh my goodness gracious. Oooh lordy lord, I-I can't... I don't... aaglkjdsg.

_ERROR, ERROR. TOTAL SYSTEM MELTDOWN DUE TO MASSIVE FAILURE ON ALL FRONTS. PLEASE REBOOT AND TRY AGAIN._

I... I don't know if I'm seeing this correctly... I sincerely hope that I am, because I would probably die inside if this wasn't real, or if this was all some part of my high-ass imagination. If it is in my head... oh god damn it, my mind is an evil teasing mother fuck for creating this delusion. And if it isn't... I was moving forward before I could stop myself, or realize I was even moving. It was like the journey from the hotel back here; I remember it happened, I don't remember how it did. One second, I was in the doorway of the kitchen, and the next I was standing behind the creature I couldn't bother to wonder about being here, and awake, at this time. All I could focus on was the fact that it was Alice, my sweet, sweet guilty pleasure goddess, bent over, hands rummaging in the fridge for I don't give a fuck what...

And her fucking bare ass less than five inches from me. Her fucking bare ass and god-damn-it-YES pussy because she is NOT wearing panties AND PRAISE BE TO THE LOOOORD! FOR HEEEE IS MIGHTYYYY! And then she found her prize - a water bottle and some carrots... fucking _love_ me some carrots - and straightened up and it all went downhill from there. I wrapped one arm around her waist to pull her body back into mine, my free hand closing over her mouth. God, this is seriously creepy of me... and I _really_ don't care.

"Mmmmf!" _Aaaah_, why do her _please-don't-rape-me_ noises sound so fucking sexy!?... Well, that could probably be because I can feel her lips moving against my palm and her hot breath fanning over the sensitive skin there, and the rest of her - or, the back of her - is pressed tightly against my front and holy Batman, this is fucking glorious.

"Uh-shush-shushhh," I soothed lowly, leaning closer to let my breath wash over her ear and the back of her neck. Her hair is short, and while not everyone can really work that look - Anne Hathaway being excluded because she fucking rocks the world - she could, she did, and it was UH-MAZE-ING. "Scream and you might wake the neighbors!" I was trying to make it sound more playful and less like I'm seriously just a fucking creeper, and it must have worked because I could feel her begin to relax against me, and then struggle slightly against the arm wrapped tightly around her arms and waist. I (un)willingly let her free, allowing her to be the one to step away and spin around, setting a light-hearted glare on me and ooooh, lordy, she didn't even button it hardly halfway. Hold on... do... do you hear that? I can hear... I can hear the angels singing, and there's this strange light shining from the ceiling, as if the heavens are highlighting her cleavage and delicious side-boob and loooooong legs and mMMMMMMM! Those legs are fucking dangerous.

FUCKING.

DANGEROUS.

Just call me Evel Knievel, baby, 'cause I'm feelin' like I wanna take on that danger. Hmm, I can think of just a _few_ things I'd very much like to jump right about now...

"_Bella!_" Alice whispered furiously at me. Apparently, she had yet to get the memo regarding Edward and his magical ability to sleep like the fucking dead. Not that I cared about Edward... at this moment, with Alice so wonderfully underdressed, I'm not really sure who Edward is; I just know that I hate him and he's somehow involved in Alice's lack of apparel. Thank you, oh mysterious asshole of unknown origins, for involving yourself in Alice's nudity. Obviously it was for my benefit. "_What are you doing here!?_"

"You can speak at a normal volume, doll," I drawled back at her, hands on my hips and hip cocked. I knew there was this arrogant, 'I'm the greatest bitch in the world' smirk curling at my lips and aimed at Alice, and I could somehow sense that she knew it too. And I was quite certain she could feel my eyes still running up and down that deliciously lithe figure she cut in the low-light, because she suddenly tried tugging the hem of the shirt down with one too-full hand. Well darlin', I can only assume that PANTS might have fixed that problem with your modesty, but it's way too late for something like that. "And last I checked, I live here." I could sense her blush; it was like a sixth sense at this point. I'm just that attuned to her.

"Oh, right..." she mumbled and... oh gah, it's just so cute and shy and embarrassed, I could just hug the ever loving shit out of her right now! But I mustn't, for surely my hands would wander and I'm not some ruffian that's going to take advantage of her nudity-

BAHAHAHAHAH, I'm sorry, I-I just couldn't say that with a straight face.

"The better question is what _you_ are doing here?" Or why _aren't_ you doing me? Or better yet, why aren't _I_ doing you? Actually, pause, rewind - let's do _ALL_ of that! Sounds fun, yeah?

"Oh, uhhh," she chuckled nervously, moving towards the kitchen table to set her sustenance upon it and pull out a chair to plop down into. She crossed one leg daintily over the other, and though it _did_ obscure my ultimate prize from me, the motion was somehow incredibly sexy and I just couldn't help myself from licking my lips and subtly stalking closer. "Well, Edward told me I should thank you..." Ohh, really, no thanks necessary. I much prefer monetary prizes, or if you're low on cash, you can always pay with your body... actually, just for you; I'll only allow you to pay with your body! Can we say, 'strip tease'?

"Well, you're welcome, I suppose. But whatever for?" I could just see her smile, and with the strangest sinking feeling in my gut, she opened her mouth and began to speak.

"Well, for the date with Edward," _Auuugh! _My heart, it hurts! _Fucking BOYFRIEND-ass mother fucking fuck... _She giggled though, and on the inside I was broken down into a sobbing heap on the floor, but her giggle is so asdklnje cute, that I couldn't... I couldn't feel too much hatred for he who should be wiped from existence. Or maybe she was giggling for me...? YES! Go ME! God, I'm awesome. "You indirectly set it up and... it was wonderful." See, all I got from that was 'You' and 'wonderful', therefore, I AM WONDERFUL! See, I'm totally not blowing things out of proportion or anything, but I'm _pretty sure_ Alice totally wants me, because of what she just said. In fact, I'm almost 43% positive she wanted me to set up a date for her and me.

I'm not the only one that read between the lines for that, right? Because, I mean... it's _obvious_ that's what she meant with all those other words I didn't listen to.

"Well, I aim to please," I grinned at her and somehow suddenly realized that I was standing right in front of her, and MMMM legs, cleavage, fucking ALICE. I suppose goddesses are meant to be attractive and irresistible, because of their godliness and powers and blah, but _dear Alice_, she was almost _TOO _much. And that was fully fucking clothed, but now?! It was way too much; it was why I couldn't control my body, couldn't stop myself from what I did next. So before I go further, allow me to explain that NONE of this is my fault. Edward was the one that never told me ANYTHING anymore, thus never allowing me the time to prepare myself for the battle of my wants vs. my wills. Alice was the one that offered her lips to me, and the one that took it further when I would have let her go on her merry, straight-girl way. Jacob was the one that got me _way_ too fucking high to be around other people - because I get really sexual when I'm REALLY fucked up and he knows that. And Alice was the one that decided to flounce around my apartment, my _kitchen_ in the middle of the damn night, _PRACTICALLY NAKED!_

So it really cannot be blamed upon me, how my hands just sort of landed on her knees as I leaned over her with a devilish smirk. It is no fault of my own, how they began sliding slowly up her legs (_MMM LEGS!_) as I leaned closer to her. And really, it's not my fault how my lips happened to brush over her ear as I spoke in a low, husky tone that I was not trying to make (and therefore, also not my fault), "_And I do so wish to please you, Alice._"

I blame it on everyone else. And Alice's legs - which were currently wrapped around my hips - because, well... she really does have great legs...


End file.
